Please review Task 2 for GT and rate.

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DJvj
Posts: 148
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2015 9:06 am

Please review Task 2 for GT and rate.

Post by DJvj »

TOPIC:-
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'One big traffic jam'

How true do you think this statement is?

What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

Appreciate if you can review and rate the essay .Thanks in advance


Commutation is the biggest challenge in current era. In past, people used to reach the destination in lesser amount of time and pedaling was considered to be one of the effective healthier modes of commutation. However, with the significant growth in the vehicle ownership on the road, life has become stand still and increased in the level of air and sound pollution. If you read through the statistics, most of the families in US own minimum 2 cars per family and we are not way behind. Even in India, the statistics does not show much of the optimistic result too. With the urban lifestyle entanglement and rapid growth of income, people are trying to be more independent and with the lucrative schemes available in the market which is making the people’s life much easier to afford a car. Therefore, it results in increasing the commuting time due to unexpected inflow of the vehicular movement on the roads.

Government should step in control these by providing much more safer and robust infrastructure. There should be an encouragement of using more of public transportation. Recently, few metros in India like Delhi has witnessed a significant level of increase in the pollution level .For which government has initiated with the trial of odd-even vehicle scheme which would let people to use more public transportation and eventually reduce the number of vehicles of personal vehicles from the roads.

Government should encourage people up with more incentive schemes which can let them buy echo-friendly vehicles which can reduce the pollution on the road. Government should lay down more metros which can help the daily commuters to reach their destination much faster and safer. People should be encouraged to do more carpooling rather than driving it alone to office .

I think it should be more of a collective responsibility from individuals and government to make the place safer. If these measures are not initiated then it would be bring a health hazard especially to the children and senior citizens to commute freely around.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Please review Task 2 for GT and rate.

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

Basically, this is a good essay. I would reduce the length of the introduction - it is longer than the main paragraphs! Also, make sure that you understand the difference between 'encourage' and 'force'.

Well done!
David
DJvj
Posts: 148
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2015 9:06 am

Re: Please review Task 2 for GT and rate.

Post by DJvj »

Thanks David for your feedback , i will take care of it .

Do you think this can be rated as CLB 7 . If not , what needs to be improved upon ?.
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