Climate Change (task 2 working on band 7)

[raghadmamd]

Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity. What are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these?

Recently, it has been noted that climate has changed in an obvious way. There is no doubt that human activity plays an important role in climate change. Global warming has various impacts all over the world. In this essay, I will explore the most significant effects and try to propose some solutions.
One of the most urgent effects is the increase of co2 to a recorded level. This may be due to persistence use of fossil fuel such ad coal and gas in many power stations and inefficient use of energy by customers at homes. To tackle this problem the government should invest more on renewable sources of the energy, such as the wind, tidal and solar energy. The solution for individuals is to reduce the food wastage in order to decrease our carbon footprint. One more issue related to increasing co2 is illegal logging in Arizona basin and rainforest and thus, the government should apply strict rules to prevent these types of actions.
Another major effect is the rising of sea level, as a consequence of the increase in the temperature in the Arctic which leads to the melting of ice pole cap. That might threaten people who are resident near to coast to be homeless. One of the ways forward for this problem will be ensuring good residential insulation to decrease consumption of gas and electricity and so decrease the greenhouse effect.
To sum up, there are many dramatic effects of climate change and global warming which may affect the whole universe. It is the role of governments and individuals to cooperate together to overcome this urgent matter.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Introduction - Actually, a lot of very good scientists are not convinced about global warming.

First main paragraph - Food wastage? True, but you need to explain. And why did you suddenly jump from fuel to food? I think you mean Amazon. The government already has laws to stop this - hence 'illegal' - so you need to explain how to improve matters.

Second main paragraph - Your solution is the same as in the first paragraph.

Conclusion - The whole universe?!

Overall, language is clearly not used precisely and carefully. Points can be repetitive and connections between them are often unclear.

All the best,
David