task 2 smoking ban (working on band 7.5)

[raghadmamd]

In recent years, many governments have brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places?

Nowadays, it is more and more common to see nonsmoking signals in public places. As smoking banning has been increased in many countries by law. Although it has many advantages, some people refute these types of laws. In my view, I totally agree that smoking should be prohibited in public places. In this essay, I will explain my reasons.

First of all, it has been shown in many of the recent research that people who are exposed to passive smoking are equally liable to smoking side-effects which might reach to dangerous ones such as chronic lung diseases and cancers. So strictly keep public places out of smoking hazards will help in preventing any harm to others. In a way to apply this law, many places have installed smoke detector devices in order to easily detect any trial to break the law.

Secondly, many people who do not like the smell of the smoke will be more annoyed if the place is full of its smell, also if you have your small children with you definitely you will not be happy if the smokes are everywhere. It is sometimes difficult to find a place free of smoke to enjoy with your family.

Turning to the other side of the argument, we cannot deny that some people are disappointed with this law; they are considering this interfering with their freedom, and restrain them. For example, the smoker who is enjoying his lunch in the restaurant had to go out for smoking. Another group who are not in the favour of the law as they feel that it is affecting their business. Take bar and restaurants owners, for example, the feel that the customers do not stay more because they want to go to fresh air for smoking which in turn influence their income.

To sum up, it is clear that the advantage of smoking banning outweigh the disadvantages because it helps to protect from many illnesses and discomfort in public areas.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Introduction - change increased to introduced.

First main paragraph - Contrary to popular belief, there is no evidence of second-hand smoking. Smoke detectors are rarely used to detect naughty smokers - they are used to detect fires.

The rest of the essay is fine. Overall good. Not many mistakes with vocab and grammar and points are generally good.

All the best,
David