Please assess my Task 1 attempt.

[Samyourbest]

Q:

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.


A :

The diagrams given illustrates how raw materials are processed into concretes for construction and what facilities are involved in the working procedures.

Overall, the whole process is divided into two stages, cement and concrete manufacturing. While the cement work requires only two natural resources, the concrete procedure needs four ingredients to obtain final product. In addition, the concrete-making step includes the use of water, whereas the other work utilises heating method in the middle of stages.

Looking at the cement-making process, limestone and clay are combined through rolling procedure with crasher, and the byproduct is sent to rotating heater after experiencing mixing to get chemical transformation by heating. Subsequently, the interim product is grinded and finished by being putting in bags.

Finally, the cement produced by former work is mixed with water, gravel and sand with its instructed proportion, 10%, 50% and 25%, respectively, in a spinning concrete mixer.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

All the key points are mentioned, though most only briefly. There are some problems with grammar e.g. ground, not grinded.

Overall, good but better grammar and extension of a few points would improve it.

All the best,
David