Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree?
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Now-a-days, it is not uncommon for children to use computer on daily basis. While some people are in favour of using computer regularly, others expostulate with them. They fear that frequent usage of computer will have negative impacts on children and I concur. I believe that every day usage of computer is detrimental for the health of children.
To begin with, computers are playing a vital role in academic life of children. Children are using this electronic device to accomplish certain tasks provided by their teachers. For instance, my nephew, who is five years old, utilizes his computer to take print outs of his homework. Moreover, he uses different applications on computer to learn typing. Such activities are abundantly beneficial for children as they are helping children to learn technological advancements quickly.
Despite the above arguments, in my view, there are harmful effects of using computer on daily basis. Since it is imperative to closely look at the screen for hours during the work on computer, the eye-sight is affected to a great extent. For example, according to a global survey in December, 2015, out of 100% children who use computer all around the world, 95% of them use spectacles only because they are exposed to computer screen on daily basis. The regular usage has other harmful impacts on health such as back pain and headache.
In conclusion, I believe that the daily usage of computer has more negative results on children than positive ones. In near future, I envisage people will take steps to minimize such a high volume of computer usage by their children.
Please highlight the points to improve writing.....
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
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- Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am
Re: Please highlight the points to improve writing.....
Hello!
Introduction - "every day usage of computer is detrimental for the health of children"? Even if they just use them for 1 hour each day? This sounds interesting!
First main paragraph - OK, how does that first sentence make sense after what was just written in the introduction?! "abundantly beneficial"?! So not "detrimental"?!
Second main paragraph - It is not imperative to look at a computer screen for hours. You could just use a computer for half an hour each day. There is no scientific evidence that most people are affected "to a great extent". 95% of children who use computers wear glasses?! Seriously!?
The arguments as presented are incredibly weak and even laughable. This points to poor vocabulary and an inability to construct a real written argument. The writer appears to be confused and unable to distinguish between children who use computers often and those who use them less often.
This needs a complete rewrite.
David
Introduction - "every day usage of computer is detrimental for the health of children"? Even if they just use them for 1 hour each day? This sounds interesting!
First main paragraph - OK, how does that first sentence make sense after what was just written in the introduction?! "abundantly beneficial"?! So not "detrimental"?!
Second main paragraph - It is not imperative to look at a computer screen for hours. You could just use a computer for half an hour each day. There is no scientific evidence that most people are affected "to a great extent". 95% of children who use computers wear glasses?! Seriously!?
The arguments as presented are incredibly weak and even laughable. This points to poor vocabulary and an inability to construct a real written argument. The writer appears to be confused and unable to distinguish between children who use computers often and those who use them less often.
This needs a complete rewrite.
David