PLEASE ASSESS MY WRITING

[maianh]

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.


Recently, the application of computers has been widespread in a wide range of fields, particularly in educational areas. Given computer's growing presence within classes, many argued that the role of the teacher will be eventually rendered obsolete. While others believe that the educators' position will remain irreplaceable regardless of computer's increased use.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why it is contended that computers will soon assume the roles of educators. One particular merit of a computer-based class is the students' freedom in adopting their own mode of learning. It is true that within a traditional classroom, students usually have to follow the same curriculum, which is sometimes considered an obstacle due to their different level of comprehension. To illustrate, for slow students, their acquisition could be somewhat hindered were the teacher to deliver their lectures quickly. In comparison, when working with their own computers, they can be freed from the constraint of standardized schedule, which in turn enable independent pace of learning and methodologies. That is to say, students could study in a way that might better suit their own interest and ability, thus potentially enhancing study efficiency. Secondly, with a computer, access to various academic materials is made with great ease. Specifically, via the Internet on the computer, learners are exposed to a vast plethora of learning sources, allowing them to gather. In deed, sole dependence on teachers' help might sometimes prove the inadequate source of know-how in apparently out as vast as that of computers.

On the other hand, despite the cyber-based class's indisputable benefits, the influence teachers exert on their students, in my opinion, proves more important. Firstly, their presence within the class helps exclude the possibility of unruly codes of conduct amongst students. Obviously, while a computer is virtually powerless in behavioral supervisor, teachers could issue a set of disciplinary standards, which proves vital to shaping their attitudes. For example, if a student persistently fails to complete his homework, appropriate punishments are often given from teachers so that his wrong attitude can be rectified overtime. Needless to say, it is only when students are put under teacher's control that the class decorum is effectively maintained. Second, a teacher could play the role of motivator, while a computer cannot. In fact, in many cases, it is teacher's constant enthusiasm and inspiration in teaching that provokes interest in the study amongst learners. In the absence of teachers, pupils will somehow lack in a source of constructive comments, consoling advice or fun-filled stories, which is unlikely to be found in a computer-controlled class. Genuinely, learning aspiration could barely be found if students have to work with a non-interactive machine only.

In conclusion, while computers' aid in students' learning progress is irrefutable, teachers in my opinion still hold a more important position. Thus, in foreseeable future, computers will continue to play a complementary role in education rather than replacing teachers completely within classes.
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Please point out any of my grammatical mistakes and advice on how to get band 7 and higher. And if you might ask for the reason why this essay is so long, it is because I didn't set time.
One more thing, I have a problem in time management, which I usually spend up to 20-22 mins in task 1. Then I realize I have less time for task 2 and probably no time for checking. So can I do the task 2 first before moving on task 1? if possible, could you describe the process you analyze the exam and do each stage in general? I really need your help.
Thank you again and hope that you will reply soon.
Sincerely.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

First main paragraph - Your first point is (at least partially) correct. However, when I was at school we had 'streaming', i.e. students of different abilities were in different classes.

All the best,
David