Please review Task 2 for GT and rate.

[DJvj]

Topic ***

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer technology. It is used in business, crime detection and even to fly planes. Is this dependence on technology a good thing or should we be suspicious of its benefits?

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With the evolution of the technology, the accessibility of the information has become much easier. Various devices like mobiles, computers etc. have been integrated with the various technology tools. However, sometimes dependency may bring some challenges too.

In the earlier days, one of the biggest hurdles was the accessibility of the information. For e.g. if someone has to transfer a money to some other account then there was no other mechanism except heading to the bank and get it done. The turnaround time was too long due to manual intervention and paperwork. However, with the assistance of the technology, things can be done in few clicks even being far off. Another thing is you can easily be stay connected with your loved ones and friends irrespective of their geographical location.

Another side to this, these technologies poses even some challenges too. These tools may work effectively only when you have good network connectivity. Sometimes using of the computer technology prolong can bring some health hazards like eyesight issue, obesity. One has to be cautious before accessing the information through these tools. For e.g., if your online account information is being exposed, then there could be chances your account can be easily hacked. It will be difficult to be traced due to physical absence.

To conclude, I believe dependency on the technology benefits outweigh side-effects. One shouldn’t be over dependent on the usage of the technologies and just has to ensure that he/she uses it more effectively and judiciously before accessing.

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Appreciate your feedback.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

I think that the basic ideas are good, but need more development, especially in the second main paragraph. Also, try to address the issue of dependency more. What are the consequences for individuals, organisations and society?

All the best,
David