IELTS Writing Task2

[Fozia Akbar]

Q: "In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms?
Ans: School uniform is actually the wear of schoolchildren not only in one country but also in many other countries.
School uniform removes the discrimination between poor and rich also the religions. It should be implied in schools of other countries. In this way, a wastage of time can be reduced in selection of other dresses that wear on school time. This save time can be spend on other useful works or study purpose.
Specific dresses of schoolchildren that illustrates the personality of individual and also elegance of their institution. Indeed, students are well aware their responsibility to keep their uniform neat and clean.
Sometime problem is face by such students whom have only one pair of uniform and they also seem in difficulty that, "how they keep their uniform neat and clean?" If say, here may be some problem likewise financial then it will not incorrect. Private schools have very expenses in case of buying books, uniform and paying fees. Government schools, although provide some lenient rules for students that are at lower level. And sometime government offer to take school uniform as well as books free.
In many countries, some schools celebrate color day after one week or month but majority do it at end term party. School uniform shows the unity, discipline, and faith among schoolchildren. When schoolchildren are in uniform they give pleasure to eyes and looks like a team.
Government help to mop and plea to reduce the strictness in private schools i.e; in one year, they provide free uniform only once. Because, here are a lot of expenditures in this modern age. Everyone do not easily afford their house expenditures as well as institutions.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Well, it's more of a statement than a question, but I guess you are supposed to look at both sides and give your opinion.

Ideas are good and clear, but a clear conclusion is missing, i.e. your opinion.

Vocabulary is good and grammar is reasonable, but you are not really using language to present arguments, just facts which almost everyone knows already.

To get a high score in T2 you need to present arguments, indicate whether these arguments are worthy or not, and provide your personal opinion on the issue.

Overall, I think that you could quite easily rewrite this to make is worthy of a higher score.

All the best,
David