Please assess my writing and give me a band score - Writing task1

[niloo]

This bar chart illustrates the percentage of people played different ports in New Zealand divided by gender in 2002.
Overall, more boys participated in different sports in comparison to girls. The majority of girls used to play netball, while boy's favorite sport was soccer.
Girls took part in two sports more than boys, athletics and netball. In terms of netball, about 25% of girls played that sport, compared to approximately 1% of boys. Athletics were played by around 5% of girls which was about !% more than boy players.
On the other hand, the remaining sports were played by more boys. Marital arts, basketball and tennis where participated by less than 10% of by with a slight difference to girls. Although marital arts was played by boys much more than girls. Cricket also was more common among boys with marginally over 10% players. In addition, soccer was the most common sport between boys which used to be played by well over 20% of them.

[Flick]

This bar chart illustrates the percentage of people played different ports in New Zealand divided by gender in 2002.(<--Reword to: "The bar chart illustrates the sports being played in New Zealand in 2002 by boys and girls.")

Overall, more boys participated in different sports in comparison to girls.(<--Reword to: "Overall, more boys played sports than girls.") The majority of girls played netball, while boy's favorite sport was soccer.

Girls took part in two sports more than boys, athletics and netball.(<--Reword to: "More girls than boys took part in athletics and netball.") In terms of netball, about 25% of girls played, compared to approximately 1% of boys. Athletics was played by around 5% of girls and about 4% of boys.

On the other hand, the remaining sports were played by more boys. Marital arts, basketball and tennis where participated by less than 10% of by with a slight difference to girls.(<--Reword to: "Martial arts, basketball and tennis accounted for less than 10% respectively for both boys and girls.") Although marital arts was played by boys much more than girls.(<--Reword to: "However, martial arts was significantly more popular with boys than girls, ten and three percent respectively.") Cricket was more common among boys with marginally over 10% of boys taking part. In addition, soccer was the most common sport for boys, with over 20% playing.