Wring task 2 - creative artists

[sanba06c]

Below is the topic which is followed by my writing. It would be highly appreciated if anyone could give me some comments .

"Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?"

ANSWER:

Thus far art has developed dramatically. Therefore, it is essential to have proper management on it. Yet, there still remains some disagreement as to whether creative artists should be given complete freedom to convey their ideas. While there are some valid arguments to the contrary, I would contend that the government should impose some restrictions on the content expressed by artists.

At the heart of this matter is the fact that total freedom given to creative artists is likely to result in publishing of explicit and uncensored content which seems offensive to some degree. For example, "nude" photos which often go beyond orthodox value seem to become a trend nowadays. When surfing on Internet, users cannot avoid seeing pictures of models or hot girls in partially or completely nude fashion.

Equally important, though, is that society is susceptible to instability or chaos if the political content is not under inspection of the government. Indeed, the worst scenario can lead to uprising, civil commotion, riot. Take "Charlie Hebdo" shooting recent case as a typical example for this situation. Given the virtually maximum freedom that the French government gave to its newspaper, Charlie Hebdo, which is satirical weekly newspaper, had been notorious for its contentious depictions of Islamic leaders and Muhammad. Eventually, in January 2015, its office witnessed a massacre ending the life of virtually a dozen of its staff of which the motive behind this barbarous act was believed to be due to the jokes insulting Islam.

By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my opinion that creative arts should be controlled, but merely in a moderate manner so that creativity will not be restrained.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Orthodox value? You need to explain exactly what you mean.

How does nudity on the internet relate to government control over artists?

"Equally important, though, is that society is susceptible to instability or chaos if the political content is not under inspection of the government." Kindly explain why Australia (or, looking to your example, France) is more chaotic/unstable than Pakistan.

Of course, most people would point out that if they do not like a painting, they don't kill a dozen people over it. And it might be worth pondering the mental state of the people who do. Should we make laws to satisfy a violent minority who know little about their own culture and religion, let alone much about the culture of countries like Denmark and France?

If you control art, then creativity will be restrained, so your 'moderate' suggestion simply doesn't work.

Vocabulary and grammar are good, but are not used to answer the question in a coherent and logical manner.

All the best,
David

[sanba06c]

Hello!

Orthodox value? You need to explain exactly what you mean.

How does nudity on the internet relate to government control over artists?

"Equally important, though, is that society is susceptible to instability or chaos if the political content is not under inspection of the government." Kindly explain why Australia (or, looking to your example, France) is more chaotic/unstable than Pakistan.

Of course, most people would point out that if they do not like a painting, they don't kill a dozen people over it. And it might be worth pondering the mental state of the people who do. Should we make laws to satisfy a violent minority who know little about their own culture and religion, let alone much about the culture of countries like Denmark and France?

If you control art, then creativity will be restrained, so your 'moderate' suggestion simply doesn't work.

Vocabulary and grammar are good, but are not used to answer the question in a coherent and logical manner.

All the best,
David

Hello David,

Your comments are highly appreciated. It's important for me to improve task response section more.

Thanks and have a nice day.

[Flick]

Below is the topic which is followed by my writing. It would be highly appreciated if anyone could give me some comments .

"Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?"

ANSWER:

Thus far art has developed dramatically. Therefore, it is essential to have proper management of it. Yet, there still remains some disagreement as to whether creative artists should be given complete freedom to convey their ideas. While there are some valid arguments to the contrary, I would contend that the government should impose some restrictions on the content expressed by artists.

At the heart of this matter is the fact that total freedom given to creative artists is likely to result in publishing of explicit and uncensored content which may be offensive to some degree. For example, "nude" photos which often go beyond orthodox value seem to be a trend nowadays. When surfing on the Internet, users cannot avoid seeing pictures of models or hot girls in partially or completely nude fashion.

Equally important, though, is that society is susceptible to instability or chaos if the political content is not under inspection of the government. Indeed, the worst scenario can lead to uprising, civil commotion, riot. Take the recent "Charlie Hebdo" shooting as a typical example for this situation. The French government gave the newspaper, Charlie Hebdo, a satirical weekly newspaper notorious for its contentious depictions of Islamic leaders and Muhammad, no restrictions to its content. Eventually, in January 2015, its office suffered a massacre, ending the lives of virtually a dozen of its staff. The motive behind this barbarous act was believed to be due to the jokes insulting Islam.

By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my opinion that creative arts should be controlled, but merely in a moderate manner so that creativity will not be restrained.