Topic:-
Advertising aimed at children is an issue which frequently generates a great deal of heated debate in many societies. While some parents think that advertising targeting children is dangerous, advertisers reject them.
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Commercial advertisement plays a crucial role in product branding. However, sometimes companies use children in for advertising their products. While some parent’s flak this as they consider this to be a threat for their children.
Advertisement helps in creating the awareness among children. With the help of advertisement, it makes it easier for parents to educate their children on the various aspect of a product. Sometimes by exhibiting the same age group children in advertisement, it makes it easier for the advertiser to reach the right community and communicate the message to the wider audience. For instance, in an advertisement of toothpaste, children will be able to comprehend what are the side-effects of not brushing his teeth on a regular basis and even parent can take that as an example and help their children to understand the significance of the brushing. Even the cost incurred on the advertisement is lesser comparatively.
On the other side of it, some parents believe children should be refrained from the advertisement as it could be dangerous. It brings some implications and makes themselves indulge in those activities. For instance, a junk food advertisement of a pizza which uses children in their advertise. By seeing the advertisement, then it can make them more tempted and to have more junk food which could be a big health hazard for their health.
To conclude, advertisement companies should be more judiciously in their approach in targeting children. There is no harm as long as the message communicates a meaningful message and shouldn’t affect them in any manner.
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Appreciate your feedback.
Please review Task 2 for GT and rate.
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am
Re: Please review Task 2 for GT and rate.
Hello!
The main arguments are good, but there is insufficient development, particularly in the second main paragraph. The first main paragraph spends too much time on the example, rather than the main point.
The conclusion is very weak. The word 'meaningful', ironically, has no meaning here! You say that it is up to the companies, which could be a rather dangerous conclusion, as the health of children may not be more important than profits. The Chinese milk powder scandal was a perfect example of this (check online). Of course, it could be argued that when advertising takes over the role of the parents, as you suggest in the first main paragraph, it really does control people's lives.
Good vocabulary and grammar!
All the best,
David
The main arguments are good, but there is insufficient development, particularly in the second main paragraph. The first main paragraph spends too much time on the example, rather than the main point.
The conclusion is very weak. The word 'meaningful', ironically, has no meaning here! You say that it is up to the companies, which could be a rather dangerous conclusion, as the health of children may not be more important than profits. The Chinese milk powder scandal was a perfect example of this (check online). Of course, it could be argued that when advertising takes over the role of the parents, as you suggest in the first main paragraph, it really does control people's lives.
Good vocabulary and grammar!
All the best,
David