General Test / Writing 2 / Computer importance in the life.

[Emre_Akdeniz]

WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

As part of a class assigment you have to write about the following topic:
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business,
hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the
future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious
of their benefits ?

You should write at least 250 words.



It is obvious that the technology is an important part of our lives. There is no doubt that, since mechanics,electronics and digital structures have been melted in same pot, our world changed significantly. Some people believe that, the computers have a certain importance and place in lifetime tremendously and that is goodness for humanity. Whereas others disagree that, to be connected obsessively to the computers may result in the end of humanity. This will be shown by taking to account all the factors and evidences given below.

Looking first at the good side of the technology is caring the humanity optimistically. For example, traffic lights are controlled by computers, so the residents drive in safe. Other instance may be given for the sicks, who are looked after by medical processed computers. Computer do advice the payment of electric bill date is getting closer or warn that you to put on your raingear because of the likelihood of the rain. As seen clearly, computers make the life easify.

By contrast, some people advocate that, making computers indissoluble participants of humanity cause the computers to supersede the employee s or although a passenger booked earlier but in the airport, he is said that it is not seen any reservation on the screen and there is nothing to solve this, furthermore any other malfunctions may be.

It seems me that, the computer is one of the components of life. When the first fire was lit or the wheel were devised primarily , there must have been somes against those. However mankind went on using all these by enhencing and developing. Because the nature keeps the needs and denies the nonessentials.

After analyzing the two sides with examples and evidences, a result could be provided as the computers,anyhow, are like the limbs of the body. Most likely, the best thing to do, make them participated as adequately as we need.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Lots of vocabulary problems - caring the humanity optimistically, safe (safety), sicks, medical processed, easify, indissoluble participants of humanity (!?), components of life (We do not live in such a world yet!).

What happened to the destruction of humanity mentioned in the introduction?! I was looking forward to that bit!

Given that the introduction is the longest paragraph, IELTS Network regulars know I'm going to point out the lack of development.

The examples given are fine, but the occasional problems with tech do not fit with the question, which asks whether we should be SUSPICIOUS of the increasing use of tech. Basically, you have answered an 'advantages/disadvantages question that was not asked!

What will tech be used for in the future?

Off-question. Weak vocabulary. Poor arguments. Even the good grammar cannot overcome these.

All the best,
David