task 2

[ali zahir]

The distinction between right and wrong is a crucial thing to be learnt in an early age. I believe that there are many ways to teach our children the ethics and the manners, but punishment is necessary in some circumstances to avoid forgetting these manners. However, I think that there are ways of punishment that we cannot allow.

To begin, children in an early age are willing and ready to learn, and we can easily put them in the right way. Their willing to learn may have a bad impact on them as they may be affected by some bad ethics from their friends at school or from the media. In this case, our role is to get them away from these ethics by all ways including punishment.


In addition, children like to be respected and loved by people in their environment. They also like to maintain their dignity, so they will try to avoid being punished. We can use this feature in our children to stop any bad behavior. For example, if our child stated writing on the wall or beating his/her mates, we can stop them from this by using a suitable way of punishment. As a result , he/she will neglect and abandon this bad behavior.

We should also be careful that some ways of punishment is not accepted. For instance, physical punishment should be prohibited, because it destroys the personality of the children. Intensive physical punishment makes a sadistic child with a willing to revenge from the society. We can use another ways ,such as stopping their allowance. I think that the best way to punish children is stopping them from doing useful things, because children will feel the importance of these things. For example, if we say to our child that he will not read today because he made a mistake, he will know that reading is useful and interesting.

Finally, because of the importance of teaching children to distinguish between right and wrong, we can use punishment. However, only some ways should be allowed.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Overall, a reasonable essay, but it contains a lot of assertions and not much evidence, e.g. 'They also like to maintain their dignity.'

Most of all, if it is so easy to teach children right from wrong, then where's the problem?

Very general, but it answers the question to some extent. Much more evidence required.

All the best,
David

[ali zahir]

thanks david

but what about grammar and vocabulary?

[Flick]

The distinction between right and wrong is a crucial thing to be learnt at an early age. I believe that there are many ways to teach our children ethics and manners, but punishment is necessary in some circumstances to avoid forgetting these manners. However, I think that there are some types of punishment that we cannot allow.

To begin, very young children are willing and ready to learn, and we can easily show them the right way to behave. Their willingness to learn may have a bad impact on them as they may be influencede by some bad ethics from their friends at school or from the media. In this case, our role is to discourage these ethics by any means, including punishment.


In addition, children like to be respected and loved by people in their environment. They also like to maintain their dignity, so they will try to avoid being punished. We can use this feature in our children to stop any bad behavior. For example, if our child started writing on the wall or beating his/her friends or siblings, we could stop them by using a suitable method of punishment. As a result, he or she would avoid this bad behavior in the future.

We should also be careful that some types of punishment is not acceptable. For instance, physical punishment should be prohibited, because it destroys the personality of the child. Intensive physical punishment creates a sadistic child with a desire to punish the society in turn. We can use other ways, such as stopping their allowance. I think that the best way to punish children is stopping them from doing fun things, because children will feel the importance of these things. For example, if we say to our child that he will not be allowed to read today because he made a mistake, he will know that reading is useful and interesting.

Finally, because of the importance of teaching children to distinguish between right and wrong, we can use punishment. However, only some ways should be allowed.