Writing Task 2-

[sms_1190]

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills.

Do you agree or disagree?


Answer :

Today, because of advancement into the field of technologies, children are very likely to depend on computers and internet. Moreover, computer is not only used for getting information, but utilizing it in classroom to teach children is very common phenomenon. In fact, children also use it for do simple math and complete assignment as they do not have to worry about spelling which can checked by computer programs. Thus, whether to use computers in classroom or to start applying traditional teaching approach is a very heated topics among teachers and parents. It is agreed that school teachers should adhere to conventional methods of education as these methods instill power of thinking in child's mind and students can take advantage of teachers past experience in the field.

Firstly, it Is believed that children are more talented and have more ability to analyze and comes to conclusion very quickly using well-established teaching methods. For example, my neighbor's son use calculator to do multiplication of two single digit number instead to thinking how it is done. In contrast, in past decades, students are asked to use only pen and paper to do bigger calculation which boost the thinking power. It clearly shows how influence of basic methods helps children to think logically which in long run assist in successful career.

In addition to this, many children capacity are different to understand the specific topic. As teachers are capable in that field using their research and tremendous knowledge about subject, children are exposed to experienced mentors in classroom. Teachers can explain the same topic in a variety of ways until subject is understood by each student who might have low ability. This cannot be achieved by computers as computers do not have capacity to recognize students mental potential. Therefore, teachers study skills have significantly impact on mind of children.

In summary, though computers are making children life easier, it is threaded to lose ability of thinking. Looking at aforementioned arguments about traditional and basic approaches to enhance thinking power and teachers skills, it is believed that teachers need to switch from using technology to stick with well-established practice of teaching in classroom. It is predicted that teacher will consider using more conventional techniques with taking benefits of computers.


Can anyone comment on my answer?

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

That's a VERY long introduction!

Computer is ... singular? There are many computers.

It is agreed that? Who by?

Why are children more talented and analytical when using long-standing methods? Your example does not demonstrate the point either way.

Different to understand the specific topic?

Teachers study skills?

Overall, your argument is not demonstrated. The examples are inadequate and there are examples of where your writing is unclear due to vocab/grammar errors.

Within the long introduction, the include an example that goes against your opinion, without any clear marking of why. Anyway, keep examples to your main paragraphs wherever possible.

All the best,
David

[sms_1190]

Thanks David,

I will keep in mind to have short introduction and try to put adequate example for topic sentence.