ielts writing task1

[ali zahir]

The four pie charts illustrate the differences between the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and what is expected to be in 2050.At a first glance,it is clear that the percentage of the youth between 15 to 59 years in Yemen is increasing.on the other hand , the rate of Italian old people is growing .

The youth accounted 46.3 per cent in Yemen, and it is expected to grow up to 57.3 per cent in 2050. Italy is totally different in the number of the youth , as they were more than three-fifths 16 years ago , while projections expect that the percentage will decrease to 46.2 per cent 34 years later .

The kids who are younger than 14 years old were approximately half of the Yemen society in 2000, but the pie charts show that their number is going to fall in the coming years to be around third . on the contrary , those kids were a minority in Italy in 2000 as they were less than a fifth , and it can be seen clearly from the charts that they will still a minority because their percentage is expected to decrease to be one in ten .

It can be seen from the graph that old people who are older than 60 years old will stay a very small rate as their percentage were 3.6 % in 200 and will be 5.7% in 2050 . It is totally different in Italy because their ratio is rapidly increasing from less than a quarter in 2000 to more than two-fifths in 2050 as is illustrated by the charts.

[ali zahir]

can you please assess this and give me a feedback about grammar , vocabulay , coherence and cohesion

[Flick]

The four pie charts illustrate the differences between the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and the expected population distribution in 2050. At first glance, it is clear that the percentage of the population aged between 15 to 59 years in Yemen is increasing. On the other hand, the rate of people aged 60 and over in Italy is growing.

In 2000, those aged between 15 and 56 accounted for 46.3 per cent of the population in Yemen, and this is expected to grow to 57.3 per cent in 2050. Italy is totally different in the number of the youth , as they were more than three-fifths 16 years ago , while projections expect that the percentage will decrease to 46.2 per cent 34 years later .(<--Reword to: "However, in Italy, the number of 15-56 year olds is expected to drop from 61.6% to 46.2%.")

Children younger than 14 years old made up approximately half of the Yemen population in 2000, but the pie charts show that their number is going to fall in the coming years to around 37% by 2050. On the contrary, only 14.3% of the Italian population was made up of 0-14 year olds, and it can be seen clearly from the charts that they will still be a minority in 2050, accounting for just 11.5% of the total population.

It can be seen from the graph that the number of people who are older than 60 will stay relatively low as their percentage was 3.6% in 2000 and will be 5.7% in 2050. It is totally different in Italy because their ratio is rapidly increasing from 24.1% in 2000 to 42.3% in 2050 as is illustrated by the charts.