task 2 essay

[ali zahir]

Unpaid community service is a very important aspect in any successful society. Its vital role encouraged a part of the society to believe that it should be an obligatory program at high schools . Actually, I partly agree on this opinion , but there are some reasons that may make that a wrong decision.

To begin , it is nececessary for the young prople to have the incentive to be charitable for their society and to allocate a part of their time and efforts to serve their people . That services will make a united society with a harmonious people and will encourage each person to be loyal to his country. Hence , I believe that the biggest incentive for the students is making community service a compulsory part of the students programs .

In addition , I think that doing community services is able to improve the students' ethics and manners . Through my life , I have found that people who used to do voluntary services had a good ethics and a nice treatment with other people because community service removed all bad feelings from their hearts, so they became more willing to have good relationships with all people .

Although all these good aspects of making unpaid community services compulsory , there are a point that may make this decision not preferable . Actually, most psychologists think that the voluntary services should be derived from the person's manners , so the role of the educational institutions is to build the students' manners , then the students themselves should decide .

In conclusion ,doing unpaid community services has many benefits to the society and the students, as well . That is why I believe that it should be compulsory , but applying this decision should be after convincing the students with its importance .

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

There's a lot of 'will' in the first main paragraph. Are you so sure? If so, point out the successes.

Perhaps you have confused cause and effect in the second main paragraph. Good people are more likely to do volunteer work.

The third main paragraph needs to be explained. For example, how to build manners?

Overall, grammar is good, though there is a limited range of structures. Vocabulary is not used to present a clear, logical argument.

All the best,
David

[ali zahir]

Thank you so much for your useful tips , I will try to widen my structures and my vocabulary

[Flick]

Unpaid community service is a very important aspect of any successful society. Its vital role has encouraged a part of the society to believe that it should be an obligatory program at high schools. I partly agree with this opinion, but there are some reasons that may make it the wrong decision.

To begin, it is necessary for young people to have the incentive to be charitable within their society and to allocate a part of their time and efforts to serving their people. Those services will create a united society with a harmonious people and will encourage each person to be loyal to his country. Hence, I believe that the biggest incentive for students is making community service a compulsory part of the students programs.

In addition, I think that doing community service helps to improve the students' ethics and manners. Through my life, I have found that people who used to do voluntary services had good ethics and treated other people better because community service removed all bad feelings from their hearts, so they became more willing to have good relationships with all people.

Although there are many positive aspects of making unpaid community service compulsory, there are a few points that may make this decision not preferable. Actually, most psychologists think that voluntary services should be derived from the person's manners so the role of educational institutions is to build the students' manners, then the students themselves should decide.

In conclusion, doing unpaid community service has many benefits for the society and the students as well. That is why I believe that it should be compulsory, but applying this decision should come after convincing the students of its importance.

[ali zahir]

Thanks alot. it was really good job