Writing Task 2 - All children should study a foreign language in school, starting in the earliest grades.

[Voxxy]

Topic:All Children should study a foreign language in school, starting in the earliest grades.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

My work
" I agree that all children should start learning a foreign language in school since the earliest grades. This is because knowing foreign languages since the early grades would give children lots of advantages and opportunities later on, as foreign language are becoming more and more popular around the world .
So, why is it advantageous for children to learn foreign language early ? First of all, foreign languages help improve children' ability to communicate, therefore improve their study and confidence . While learning foreign languages, children will get lots of chances to communicate with foreigners, this improvs both their fluency and confidence in communication . Many researches have shown that children who rarely communicate with other people are usually nervous when speaking in front of crowds, or even become shy or scared. Although it's not completely sure that all children can communicate better by leaning lamguages, but still it is a good way to improve their fluency and confidence while communicating .
Second of all, knowing foreign language helps children a lot when they grow up. They will be able to have better jobs and will be more successful with their study or career. These days companies need more and more people who know foreign languages. For example, people who know Japanese and have good amount of knowledge can easily get a job at Japanese companies like Honda, Toyota, and so on. Those who don't know Japanese can still get good jobs, but it would be harder, and they often stay at lower positions. High positions in companies usually require good communication, good knowledge of foreign language as you would have lots of negotiations to do. So, we can say that knowing foreign languages plus good knowledge and characteristic can give children a successful career when they grow up.
And last of all, learning foregin languages since the early grades helps children gain more knowledge about foreign countries and also increase their interests in different cultures. Each language is bound to its country and its culture, studying language is also studying the culture and people of a nation. If children aren't forced to learn languages, they will be likely to get interested in different countries' cultures as they learn languages. For example, many children who learn and love English may also be interested in England's cultures, they will then start learning English culture . And as they learn more languages, they will have more knowledge abiut different nations. This source of knowledge can be useful later on, such as when children study abroad or work abroad. It also increases children' interests and love for foreign countries and people, which also tighten the bonds between Nations around the world.
All inall, in my opinion, it is very crucial for children to study foreign languages from the earlies grades . But to be able to study efficiently and achieve success, children have to decide to study languages willingly. Forcing children can lead to boredom in learning languages and even hatred for languages and cultures .

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

In the first main paragraph, the suggestion that children will automatically communicate with foreigners is false.

In the second paragraph, the suggestion that people in top jobs have a knowledge of foreign languages is also not automatically correct.

The point about forcing children to learn languages is unclear. I think you have either a positive or a negative incorrect.

Then you again assume that all children will automatically like learning about different cultures.

Overall, I have to say that the arguments are either weak or simply incorrect, and that this results in a weak essay which reads as dogma rather than an academic essay.

All the best,
David

[Voxxy]

Thank you David for replying
Well, you have pointed out my biggest mistakes . I can hardly give strong or True statement, and i don't actually know how . I guess i should figure out a way to make my statements true .
Thanks again

[Flick]

Topic:All Children should study a foreign language in school, starting in the earliest grades.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

My work
" I agree that all children should start learning a foreign language in school from the earliest grades. This is because knowing foreign languages from an early age would give children lots of advantages and opportunities later on, as foreign languages are becoming more and more popular around the world.

So, why is it advantageous for children to learn a foreign language early? First of all, foreign languages help improve children's ability to communicate, therefore improving their ability to study and confidence. While learning foreign languages, children will have lots of chances to communicate with foreigners, which improves both their fluency and confidence in communication. Many studies have shown that children who rarely communicate with other people are usually nervous when speaking in front of crowds, or even become shy or scared. Although it's not completely true that all children can communicate better by leaning languages, it is still a good way to improve their fluency and confidence while communicating.

Second of all, knowing a foreign language helps children a lot when they grow up. They will be able to have better jobs and will be more successful with their study or career. These days, companies need more and more people who know foreign languages. For example, people who know Japanese and have good amount of knowledge can easily get a job at Japanese companies like Honda, Toyota, and so on. Those who don't know Japanese can still get good jobs, but it would be harder, and they often stay in lower positions. High positions in companies usually require good communication and good knowledge of a foreign language as you would have lots of negotiations to do. So, we can say that knowing foreign languages plus good knowledge and characteristics can give children a successful career when they grow up.

Finally, learning foreign languages from the early grades helps children gain more knowledge about foreign countries and also increases their interests in different cultures. Each language is bound to its country and its culture, so studying language is also studying the culture and people of a nation. If children aren't forced to learn languages, they will be likely to get interested in different countries' cultures as they learn languages.(<--I don't understand this sentence. Your sentence contradicts itself.) For example, many children who learn and love English may also be interested in England's cultures, so they will then start learning about English culture. And as they learn more languages, they will have more knowledge about different nations. This source of knowledge can be useful later on, such as when children study abroad or work abroad. It also increases children's interests and love for foreign countries and people, which also tightens the bonds between nations around the world.

All in all, in my opinion, it is very crucial for children to study foreign languages from the earliest grades. But to be able to study efficiently and achieve success, children have to decide to study languages willingly. Forcing children can lead to boredom in learning languages and even hatred for languages and cultures.