Kindly assess Sir David! Thank you

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nerieryanc
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2016 12:41 pm

Kindly assess Sir David! Thank you

Post by nerieryanc »

Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous.

To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Nowadays, alternative medicines have been frequently rampant in the world of medicine. Therapeutic claims have been tried to be publicly promoted by various companies for business purposes. In my own point of view , though some would agree about its benefits to human health , however it appears to me that these medications would pose serious health risks. This is because that no scientific studies have been conducted by the food and drug authorities proving it safe and effective.

Firstly, alternative medicines may create danger to one’s physical wellbeing. Since no scientific analysis have been made , it could affect the body organs namely ,the liver , kidneys , brain , heart, etc. For instance , a certain medication may be effective but because no further studies conducted , it could result to serious health conditions such as liver damage , nephrotoxicity , neurotoxicity, renal impairment and even coma that are life threatening. Moreover, these medicines has been proven according to some research to have adverse effects to one’s mental health. According to research studies treatment could result to insomnia, depression, hyperactivity, that may disturb our daily living psychologically.

Secondly, due to unproven scientific studies, regulation of taking such medicines may be abused or misused. For this reason the misapplication of taking medications in terms frequency is without a doubt possible. Based on my experience , some of the medication labels would mention to take it as desired, thus as an alternative treatment user before I followed the instruction to take it as much as I wanted to and only to find out that because of the medication taken my liver enzymes abnormally increased with the symptoms of abdominal pain and vomiting. Furthermore , instead of going for surgeries or some medical treatment proven to be safe , others would opt to undergo alternative therapies and later on would make them realize that time has been wasted due to its inefficacy , thus in disease treatment time is indeed very crucial.

On the other hand, yet safety of one’s health is not a guarantee using such medications, perhaps due to financial reasons and comfort , some would consider these treatment. Patient’s preference is still has to be considered but with the supervision of the licensed medical practitioner to minimize health risks.

In general , since effectiveness and safety of these treatments are not a fail-safe , it is still preferable to use traditional drugs that are safer and effective.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Re: Kindly assess Sir David! Thank you

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

I'm afraid this is not a good essay. In the conclusion, you say that we should give preference to traditional drugs, but these are the exact drugs that are frequently referred to as 'alternative', which you argued against in your essay!

You talk about the side-effects of alternative medicine, but completeely forget that modern drugs also have these. If you don't believe me, just look at a packet of aspirin!

You also miss the point that some of the ingredients used in modern and alternative medicines are the same!

You try to use a lot of medical vocabulary, but often this is not used correctly or clearly, so that would reduce your score.

Grammar is weak - lots of long sentences that I usually have to read at least twice to understand.

All the best,
David
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Flick
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Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Kindly assess Sir David! Thank you

Post by Flick »

nerieryanc wrote:Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous.

To what extent do you agree with this statement?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nowadays, alternative medicines have become popular in the world of medicine. Therapeutic claims have been publicly promoted by various companies for business purposes. In my own point of view, though some would agree about its benefits to human health, it appears to me that these medications may pose serious health risks. This is because no scientific studies have been conducted by the food and drug authorities proving these medicines safe and effective.

Firstly, alternative medicines may be dangerous for one’s physical wellbeing. Since no scientific analysis has been made, it could affect the body organs, namely the liver, kidneys, brain, heart, etc. For instance, a certain medication may be effective, but because no further studies are conducted, it could result in serious health conditions such as liver damage, nephrotoxicity, neurotoxicity, renal impairment, and even a comaall of which are life threatening. Moreover, these medicines have been proven according to some research to have adverse effects on one’s mental health. According to research, some treatments could result in insomnia, depression, or hyperactivity, that may disturb our daily living psychologically.

Secondly, due to unproven scientific studies, the regulation of such medicines may be abused or misused. For this reason, the misapplication of dosage in terms of frequency is, without a doubt, possible. Based on my experience, some of the medication labels would mention to take it as desired, thus as an alternative treatment user before I followed the instruction to take it as much as I wanted to and only to find out that because of the medication taken my liver enzymes abnormally increased with the symptoms of abdominal pain and vomiting.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) Furthermore, instead of having surgeries or some medical treatment proven to be safe, some people opt to undergo alternative therapies and later on realize that time has been wasted due to its inefficacy. Thus in disease treatment, time is crucial.

On the other hand, the safety of one’s health is not a guarantee using such medications, perhaps due to financial reasons and comfort , some would consider these treatment.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) The patient’s preference still has to be considered, but with the supervision of a licensed medical practitioner to minimize health risks.

In general, since effectiveness and safety of these treatments is not a fail-safe, it is still preferable to use traditional drugs that are safer and effective.
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