Topic :-
Oboseity once was considered to be a disease for adults,however, it’s becoming common even in children also. Why do you think it’s happening?. What can be done to help the children stay healthy?
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Obesity disease has significantly increased over the period of time. Children are being too vulnerable and therefore, becoming more prone to the diseases. Below are the few of the reason discussed.
There various factors which are contributing to this disease. Children nowadays lack physical activities as their participation in the sports is minimal and therefore, become overweight. They don’t follow any particular routine and ended up eating in odd hours which affects their metabolism rate. For instance, children glue in front of TV for prolong or to their gadgets and having their meals while watching TV and become a couch potato.
Another reason is their food habits on what they eat. Children eat lot of junk foods and fried items to fulfill their hunger and without realizing the health hazard it can cause to them. Sometimes even involvement of parents in eating ready to eat food let children to eat the same and makes them obese. For instance, children prefer to eat pizza instead of the eating home cooked food.
To conclude, I believe the foremost thing to create the awareness which would help in the overall development of the children by parents and schools. They can help them in educating them the implications of eating unhealthier food. They should encourage them to participate in any sports like cycling, swimming or playing any outdoor sports of their choice so that they can stay healthy and fit. One should remember that children can be shaped easily and if they understand the myntra of “health is wealth” correctly then this would not only help them in being healthy but also bright in their studies too.
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Appreciate your feedback.
plesase review the GT task 2
-
sharmasandy
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2014 3:47 am
Re: plesase review the GT task 2
Topic :-
Obesity once was considered to be a disease for adults,however, it’s becoming common even in children also. Why do you think it’s happening?. What can be done to help the children stay healthy?
***************
Obesity disease has significantly increased over the period of time. Children are being too vulnerable (Obesity does not have relation with vulnerability)and therefore, becoming more prone to the diseases. Below are the few of the reason discussed. (Reasons shall be mentioned in the first part only and later shall be discussed in detail)
There (are)various factors which are contributing to this disease. Children nowadays lack physical activities as their participation in the sports is minimal and therefore, become overweight. They don’t follow any particular routine and ended up eating in odd hours which affects their metabolism rate. For instance, children glue in front of TV for prolong or to their gadgets and having their meals while watching TV and become a couch potato.
(What do you want to say is not clear, how is it effecting obesity. how are you proving your point not clear).
Another reason is their food habits on what they eat. Children eat lot of junk foods and fried items to fulfill their hunger and without realizing the health hazard it can cause to them. Sometimes even involvement of parents in eating ready to eat food let children to eat the same and makes them obese. For instance, children prefer to eat pizza instead of the eating home cooked food. What do you want to say is not clear, how is it effecting obesity. how are you proving your point not clear).
To conclude, I believe the foremost thing to create the awareness which would help in the overall development of the children by parents and schools. They can help them in educating them the implications of eating unhealthier food. They should encourage them to participate in any sports like cycling, swimming or playing any outdoor sports of their choice so that they can stay healthy and fit. One should remember that children can be shaped easily and if they understand the mantra of “health is wealth” correctly then this would not only help them in being healthy but also bright in their studies too.
Lacking linking words and punctuation and there are many grammatical mistakes.
Obesity once was considered to be a disease for adults,however, it’s becoming common even in children also. Why do you think it’s happening?. What can be done to help the children stay healthy?
***************
Obesity disease has significantly increased over the period of time. Children are being too vulnerable (Obesity does not have relation with vulnerability)and therefore, becoming more prone to the diseases. Below are the few of the reason discussed. (Reasons shall be mentioned in the first part only and later shall be discussed in detail)
There (are)various factors which are contributing to this disease. Children nowadays lack physical activities as their participation in the sports is minimal and therefore, become overweight. They don’t follow any particular routine and ended up eating in odd hours which affects their metabolism rate. For instance, children glue in front of TV for prolong or to their gadgets and having their meals while watching TV and become a couch potato.
(What do you want to say is not clear, how is it effecting obesity. how are you proving your point not clear).
Another reason is their food habits on what they eat. Children eat lot of junk foods and fried items to fulfill their hunger and without realizing the health hazard it can cause to them. Sometimes even involvement of parents in eating ready to eat food let children to eat the same and makes them obese. For instance, children prefer to eat pizza instead of the eating home cooked food. What do you want to say is not clear, how is it effecting obesity. how are you proving your point not clear).
To conclude, I believe the foremost thing to create the awareness which would help in the overall development of the children by parents and schools. They can help them in educating them the implications of eating unhealthier food. They should encourage them to participate in any sports like cycling, swimming or playing any outdoor sports of their choice so that they can stay healthy and fit. One should remember that children can be shaped easily and if they understand the mantra of “health is wealth” correctly then this would not only help them in being healthy but also bright in their studies too.
Lacking linking words and punctuation and there are many grammatical mistakes.
Re: plesase review the GT task 2
David sir,
Can you please review this too .
Can you please review this too .