Task 2: What are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in large shopping center rather than smaller shops?

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ericphamhoang
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Task 2: What are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in large shopping center rather than smaller shops?

Post by ericphamhoang »

Hi, I'm a newbie to IELTS, could you please help me to correct my essay? Thanks heaps :D

Task 2: What are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in large shopping center rather than smaller shops?

It is true that the number of large shopping areas is increasing rapidly in the last few years, and many people believe that they are replacing the smaller traditional shops. This essay will elaborate on the advantages and disadvantages of shopping areas.
On the one hand, shopping areas are become more and more convenient for people. First of all, a shopping area are collections of many stores so people can easily find what they need. To illustrate, in Hanoi people can easily go to BigC to purchase grocery and electrical devices at the same time, while in the past, they needed to shop in two different stores which are located in two different districts. Secondly, shopping areas provide people a confidence in goods quality thanks to their marketing and advertising campaigns. Finally, shopping areas are also a good place for people to hunt bargain and good deal in sales period. In some countries, one is feasible to purchase a clothes with half the price in summer or winter sales. All of these mentioned advantages make shopping area a hot trend of urbanized cities.
On the other hand, there are also disadvantages when shopping in large shopping mall. Due to the high rent, products in shopping malls can be more pricy than their counterparts in traditional stores. So, it can be seen as when one purchase an item in a shopping center, he/she also needs to pay for air conditioner and decorating lights running cost. Furthermore, shopping area is huge so it is more time consuming to browse and purchase the needed items. If someone would like to buy a tube of toothpaste, a traditional store can be a quick and dirty option rather than a multi storey shopping center. Last but not least, many luxury shopping centers give shoppers the feeling of buying something. As a result, some people ended up buying unneccessary products.
In conclusion, large shopping areas are becoming a good trend thanks to their convenience. However, traditional stores are still good options for anyone with a tight budget.
David.IELTS.Examiner
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Re: Task 2: What are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in large shopping center rather than smaller shops?

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

Overall, a good essay, though this question is, in reality, too easy for IELTS T2! Still, it's a ggood question to start preparation with. I thought your arguments were good, but some could have been more developed. For instance, you mentioned that advertising increases consumer confidence, but you could have said whether this confidence is well-placed.

The main problem is that there are quite a lot of little grammar and vocabulary mistakes, e.g. one is feasible to purchase (it is possible to buy).

All the best,
David
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