Excessed traffics - please please help :)

[miniwona]

Excessed traffics has made cities unpleasant places to live and work in. For this reason private cars should be banned from city centers. To what extend do you agree?
I have never had a car in my life. I am of the opinion that a car isn’t necessary to a person who lives in a big city. I use public transport in winter and a bike when the weather gets better. As for me – that would do.
But my opinion fortunately doesn’t make the law. Actually, this topic has gave me the food for thought. The truth is that I know many people who must have a car and they often use it not without the reason. Besides, would it be really better for the urban area if all the cars vanished from its centers? Downtowns would be less noisy for sure. Problems with traffic jams would be ended once and for all as there would be no cars except taxi cabs. All the bikes would ride without disruptions from other commuters. The air we breathe would be cleaner if cars stopped contaminate it with carbon dioxide.
But is it possible to induce people who got used to cars to travel by ecological modes of transport? I dare say it is next to impossible. I think that the problem will be replaced to the suburbs or to other cities in which such a ban doesn’t exist. It is likely, that people in white collars will stay by their cars. They will probably try to figure out where they want to work since then. Maybe the outskirts of the cities will be affected by an urban sprawl and jam packed with office blocks and cars, and traffics?
Actually, I think that instead of imposing a ban we should provide an extra payment for driving cars in city centers. It is a solitude of many European countries, London included. It will bring a cut down on travelling there for no reason. The money could be spend on a road infrastructure.
Although, even if that seems to be the best way to settle this issue and make cities better places to live and work in, we must face the truth that the powers that be in Warsaw would probably never allow it. Even though, why shouldn’t we talk it over once in a while.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

There are quite a lot of grammatical errors (has gave me) but some complex sentences are perfect (Problems with traffic jams ...).

It's a similar situation with vocabulary, with some strange mistakes (solitude) but then some great usage (the powers that be).

The ideas are very good and developed to some extent. Notice that the main paragraphs get progressively shorter, with the last barely longer than the conclusion!

Coherence is very good despite a few errors (since then).

Overall, a good essay that could be made into a very good one quite easily. I look forward to your next essay!

All the best,
David

[miniwona]

Thank you very much!

[Flick]

Excessed traffics has made cities unpleasant places to live and work in. For this reason private cars should be banned from city centers. To what extend do you agree?

I have never had a car in my life. I am of the opinion that a car isn’t necessary to a person who lives in a big city. I use public transport during winter and a bike when the weather gets better. As for me – that would do.(<--Reword to: "Using public transport and a bike suit my needs perfectly.")

But my opinion fortunately doesn’t make the law. Actually, this topic has given me food for thought. The truth is that I know many people who must have a car, and they often use it not without the reason.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) Besides, would it really be better for urban areas if all the cars vanished from its centers? Downtown would be less noisy, for sure. Problems with traffic jams would be ended once and for all as there would be no cars except for taxi cabs. All the cyclists would ride without disruptions from other commuters. The air we breathe would be cleaner if cars stopped contaminating it with carbon dioxide.

But is it possible to induce people who are used to driving to travel by more environmentally friendly modes of transport? I dare say it is next to impossible. I think that the problem will be made worse in the suburbs or in other cities in which such a ban doesn’t exist. It is likely that most people will prefer to continue to use their cars. They will probably try to figure out where they want to work based on this. Maybe the outskirts of the cities will be affected by an urban sprawl and jam-packed with office blocks and cars?

Actually, I think that instead of imposing a ban, we should introduce a fee for driving cars in city centers. It is a solitude of many European countries, London included.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) It will reduce the number of cars travelling there for no reason. The money could be spent on road infrastructure.

However, even if that seems to be the best way to settle this issue and make cities better places to live and work in, we must face the truth that the powers that be in Warsaw(<--Why Warsaw?) would probably never allow it. Regardless, why shouldn’t we talk it over once in a while?