Writing task 2. Please evaluate. My test date on 25th june

[vinoth]

Evaluate both sides of the argument and give your opinion.

How the judicial system awards the correction sentence to those convicted of a crime has been
an issue that has been widely discussed. Some groups argue that punishment should be the same for
all convicts for the same crime. However, some say that the judicial system should factor in other
conditions while pronouncing the sentence. In my opinion, other factors should not be taken into
consideration.

Those who support same punishment for similar crimes argue that the primary goal of a
judicial system is to punish the guilty and to deter other citizens from committing crimes. They
argue that if judges consider other factors and award a lighter sentence, the judicial system would
fail in deterring other people from committing crime. Secondly, they argue that everyone is equal
before the law and that convicts should receive the same punishment. Thirdly, they feel that if judicial
systems starts to consider the circumstance, the convicts and their lawyers would exploit the loopholes
to escape from punishment.

Those who argue that circumstance should be an integral part while evaluvating the punishment argue
that people commit crimes in an impulse. According to them, individual's past behavior and motivation to
commit the crime should be taken into account. They feel that a lighter sentence would allow the convict
to resume normal life after completing their sentence. They argue that those who have a history of
crime record and those who have committed a crime for the first time should not be judged on the same
scale. They feel that first time offenders should be given a second chance at resuming normal life.

In my opinion, a crime should only be evaluated by its effect on the affected party and on the society
as a whole. If the judicial systems starts to factor in other parameters, lawyers would exploit the
loopholes and the convicts would evade punishment. The initial punishment awarded should be solely based on
the crime. However, the judicial system could consider re-evaluating the initial sentence based on
the convict's conduct during the prison term.

To conclude, judicial system should award the same punishment for similar crimes and should not
allow other factors to influence the judgement.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

This is a really good essay! Lots of different structures, good vocabulary, clearly organised. Points are a little general and you do make some assumptions that may not always be true.

Anyway, well done!
David

[Flick]

Evaluate both sides of the argument and give your opinion.

How the judicial system awards the correction sentence to those convicted of a crime is
an issue that has been widely discussed. Some groups argue that punishment should be the same for all convicts of the same crime. However, some say that the judicial system should factor in other conditions while pronouncing the sentence. In my opinion, other factors should not be taken into consideration.

Those who support same punishment for similar crimes argue that the primary goal of a judicial system is to punish the guilty and to deter other citizens from committing crimes. They argue that if judges consider other factors and award a lighter sentence, the judicial system would fail in deterring other people from committing crime. Secondly, they argue that everyone is equal before the law and that convicts should receive the same punishment. Thirdly, they feel that if judicial systems start to consider the circumstances, the convicts and their lawyers would exploit the loopholes to escape punishment.

Those who argue that circumstance should be an integral part while evaluvating the punishment believe that people commit crimes on an impulse. According to them, an individual's past behavior and motivation to commit the crime should be taken into account. They feel that a lighter sentence would allow the convict to resume normal life after completing their sentence. They argue that those who have a history of crime and those who have committed a crime for the first time should not be judged on the same scale. They feel that first time offenders should be given a second chance at resuming normal life.

In my opinion, a crime should only be evaluated by its effect on the affected party and on the society as a whole. If the judicial systems starts to factor in other parameters, lawyers would exploit the loopholes and the convicts would evade punishment. The initial punishment awarded should be solely based on the crime. However, the judicial system could consider re-evaluating the initial sentence based on the convict's conduct during their prison term.

To conclude, the judicial system should award the same punishment for similar crimes and should not allow other factors to influence the judgement.