Pls help to review: my test in on 25th June.

[vinoth]

Question: In most countries, MNCs and their products are
becoming more and more important. This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life.
Do you agree or disagree?


Today, every company wants to go global and sell more products
in order to increase their revenues. This trend has led to
the proliferation of many consumer good and services.
Some argue that globalization is essential for companies to
survive while others argue that going global is causing serious damages
to our society. I believe that as the companies continue to produce more products,
problems such as pollution, climate change, depletion of natural resources take roots.

First of all, mass product of consumer products have accelerated the consumption
of natural resources such as water, minerals and fuels. If the current trend continues,
tensions could arise between nations that compete for such natural resources.
Many scholars have already cited that the war happening in middle-east is for the
control of oil wells. Eventually, if the war breaks out, it could seriously damage the
standard of living of people all over the world.

Secondly, MNCs have converted human beings into mass consumers. Humans have
become highly materialistic and rely heavily on gadgets to accomplish their tasks.
Addiction to gadgets such as mobiles, tablets, wearables is also rampant. Such addition
has been found to hinder our social skills. These companies have not spared children too.
This has made parenting even more challenging and has increased the stress on family ties.

To conclude, it is evident that mass consumerism is detrimental to our society and to our
quality of life. By promoting more and more products, companies are depleting the limited
natural resources and have forced humans to chase bigger paychecks. I hope, both the
companies and humans realize the consequence of such mass consumerism sooner and act in a
responsible way to pass on better living condition for our future generations.

[Chitarra90]

I am not an IELTS Examiner, but it's an eight or something closed to. GOOD VOCAB, good grammar (conditionals), the task presents a fully developed answer with relevant example, THE STRUCTURE IS OK, you do not tend to overuse linking devices.

It's an 8 for me.

[vinoth]

I am not an IELTS Examiner, but it's an eight or something closed to. GOOD VOCAB, good grammar (conditionals), the task presents a fully developed answer with relevant example, THE STRUCTURE IS OK, you do not tend to overuse linking devices.

It's an 8 for me.

Thank you for taking your time to read my essay and for writing the feedback. Thank you

[Flick]

Question: In most countries, MNCs and their products are
becoming more and more important. This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life.
Do you agree or disagree?


Today, every company wants to go global and sell more products in order to increase their revenues. This trend has led to the proliferation of many consumer good and services. Some argue that globalization is essential for companies to survive, while others argue that going global is causing serious damage to our society. I believe that as the companies continue to produce more products, problems such as pollution, climate change, and the depletion of natural resources will take root.

First of all, mass production of consumer products has accelerated the consumption of natural resources such as water, minerals and fuels. If the current trend continues, tensions could arise between nations that compete for such natural resources. Many scholars have already cited that the war in the Middle East is for the control of oil wells. Eventually, if the war worsens, it could seriously damage the standard of living of people all over the world.

Secondly, MNCs have converted human beings into mass consumers. Humans have become highly materialistic and rely heavily on gadgets to accomplish their tasks. Addiction to gadgets such as mobiles, tablets, and wearables is also rampant. Such addiction has been found to hinder our social skills. These companies have not spared children, either. This has made parenting even more challenging and has increased the stress on family ties.

To conclude, it is evident that mass consumerism is detrimental to our society and to our quality of life. By promoting more and more products, companies are depleting limited natural resources and have forced humans to chase bigger paychecks. I hope, both the companies and humans realize the consequence of such mass consumerism soon and act in a responsible way to pass on better living conditions for our future generations.