Requesting to evaluate my essay for General IELTS Task 2

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Q. While studying some students take weekend or evening jobs to help with expenditure.
How do you fell about this? What are the drawbacks and benefits of such a decision?

It is common today that the students undertake part-time works to ease their financial burdens while they are studying. However, some believe that they may compromise their studies. These points of view will be discussed in this order.

Looking at the current trend, most of the students do weekend or evening jobs to help them in their daily expenditures. There are also evidences where they were able to make enough money for their coming semester’s tuition fee. Therefore, such opportunities can immensely benefit the people who are financially disadvantage. In addition, by participating in such jobs, they would gain work experience, even if it is not much related to their course of studies.

On other hand, many argue that engaging in part-time jobs would hamper the quality of their studies. Particularly, if one had enrolled in a difficult courses that would require more efforts, it would be extremely difficult for them to concentrate on their studies after their tiring jobs. In a way, the students may have to compromise the quality time for their studies. For instance, they may have to differ the submission of the assignments or submit with inferior quality. Therefore, it is clear why some people gravitate towards this point of view.

It is shown from the above analysis that there are clear benefits as well as drawbacks for the students to undertake in the part-time jobs. As the coin has two sides, the individuals should weigh the pros and cons. It is also dependent on other factors such as availability of the financial supports or the type of courses the persons registered with. In conclusion, I personally feel that the decision to participate for such activities should be left to the concerned personal. Therefore, such prospects should not be restricted.

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Dear all,

I would like to request you all to kindly assess my writings. My exam is on 25th June 2016.

Thank you for spending your time.

regards,

Schedup