GT Task 2. Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development ...

[VadimKlimenko]

Dear IELTS mates, please give feedback for my Task 2 General Training Essay. I would also appreciate if those of you who understand thoroughly IELTS writing band descriptors let me know what is probable band of this writing or give any other comments on the task response / coherence / lexical resources / grammatical range of the writing.
====================================
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school.
Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

====================================

Bringing-up of a child is a complex task, which includes dozens of difficult choices. One of the decisions made by parents is whether to teach a child at home or to send her to a school. Despite such circumstances as amount of free-time of the parents or their income affect the final decision, I would try to answer this question from the prism of what is the best for a child.

On the one hand, teaching at home, especially when it is performed by a parent with relevant education and skills, could lead to more effective absorption of the material by a kid as the parent has opportunity to adjust his approach for the only student. On the other hand, going to a school implies that a girl or a boy is surrounded by other pupils of the similar age. So a child learns not only specific school subjects, but also models of behaviour and communication with other children.

In my opinion, it's more important for a person to be an effective communicator, than to possess any applied subjects, for life-long success. That is why I think going to a school is better educational method as it creates specific environment, in which a small person learn to be a good person.

Those children who spent years at home and were not exposed to a full-scale society which could be found at schools more often have difficulties in making friends and finding a partner for a life. I can give an example of my neighbor's son who did not go to school untill he was nine years old. His father periodically talks to me how difficult was for his son to survive in the school when he was in last classes.

That is why I am convinced that it's better for children to go to school than to be educated at home.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Not bad, and very easy to improve into a very good essay - simply develop your points. The examples is not great as it would be very easy to provide an example of a child that didn't have those problems. Try looking at the more general situation.

Vocabulary is good, but the range of grammar structures is limited. A more developed argument would hopefully eliminate this problem.

All the best,
David

[VadimKlimenko]

David,

Thank you for your feedback. Now, after learning different types of questions and relevant essay structures, I also can see that the structure of my essay is very confusing.

[Flick]

====================================
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school.
Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

====================================

Raising a child is a complex task, which includes dozens of difficult choices. One of the decisions made by parents is whether to teach a child at home or to send her to a school. Despite such factors as the amount of free-time of the parents or their income affecting the final decision, I would try to answer this question from the viewpoint of what is best for the child.

On the one hand, teaching at home, especially when it is performed by a parent with relevant education and skills, could lead to more effective absorption of the material by a kid as the parent has the opportunity to adjust his approach for the only student. On the other hand, going to a school implies that a girl or a boy is surrounded by other pupils of a similar age. So a child learns not only specific school subjects, but also models of behaviour and communication with other children.

In my opinion, it's more important for a person to be an effective communicator than to possess any applied subjects for life-long success. That is why I think going to school is a better educational method as it creates a specific environment in which a child can learn to be a good person.

Those children who spend years at home and are not exposed to a full-scale society which can be found at schools more often have difficulties in making friends and finding a partner for life. I can give an example of my neighbor's son who did not go to school until he was nine years old. His father periodically talks to me about how difficult it was for his son to survive in the school when he was last in many classes.

That is why I am convinced that it's better for children to go to school than to be educated at home.

[VadimKlimenko]

Flick, thank you very much.