General task - 1

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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varsha
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 5:23 pm

General task - 1

Post by varsha »

Topic : Make a suggestion going out for the weekend.


Dear Rudra,
Seasons greetings

Subject: Suggestion for going out for the weekend.

I am writing this letter in connection with continuous holidays which are going to come in the next month. Due to our busy schedule, we are not imparting sufficient time to our family. So I have made a plan regarding upcoming holidays.

I would like to suggest that in the next month, there is a weekend which contains additional three more days. One is government holiday followed by one festival and again one more government holiday. Then as usual Saturday and Sunday. Therefore I am going to plan to visit a hill station with family. This surprise planning will shock them and they will be more happy and excited.
I am waiting for your positive reply and it would be appreciated if you are in favor of my suggestion. If you want to change holiday destination, I am ready to listen it.

Thanks and Regards,
Varsha Shah
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: General task - 1

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

1. You should develop parts of the letter, especially regarding where you think it would be good to go and what to see/do there.

2. Vocabulary is generally good. The glaring mistake is with 'imparting' which is too formal.

3. Grammatical accuracy is high, but I think you could use a wider range of structures, complex in particular.

4. Organisation is clear.

5. You don't have an appropriate beginning to the letter, as you give the subject, which is only done in business letters.

All the best,
David
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Flick
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Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: General task - 1

Post by Flick »

varsha wrote:Topic : Make a suggestion going out for the weekend.


Dear Rudra,
Seasons greetings

Subject: Suggestion for going out for the weekend.(<--Delete this sentence.)

I am writing this letter in connection with the continuous holidays which are going to come in the next month. Due to our busy schedule, we are not spending enough time with our family. So I have made a plan regarding the upcoming holidays.

I would like to suggest that in the next month, there is a weekend which contains three extra days. One is a government holiday followed by one festival and again one more government holiday. Then, as usual, Saturday and Sunday. Therefore I am going to plan to visit to hill station with family. This plan will surprise them and they will be happy and excited.

I am waiting for your positive reply and it would be appreciated if you are in favor of my suggestion. If you want to change holiday destination, I am ready to discuss it.

Thanks and Regards,
Varsha Shah
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