GT Task 1 - Volunteer work

[vitor.rmachado]

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Question:
You live in an English speaking country and you want to do some voluntary, unpaid work
in a developing country. Write a letter to a company called Cultural Expeditions,
which organizes such trips.

In your letter:
- Explain why you want to do the voluntary work.
- State what your skills and experience are.
- Indicate where you would like to volunteer and for how long.
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Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to express my interest in working as a volunteer in a third world country. My name is Vitor Machado, and recently I saw an advertisement published by your company, Cultural Expeditions, in a local newspaper, informing citizens to send a letter in case of interest.

I truly appreciate working as a volunteer. I spent two years living in Uganda, and I saw poverty, starvation and human suffering with my own eyes. Since then I have been working as a volunteer, helping to alleviate these worrisome problems. I have a large work experience in the education area. I worked as a primary school and kindergarten teacher for three years. Moreover, I helped to organize charity events in my hometown to raise money to buy food to homeless people. I am very friendly, and I can establish good rapport with children and adults extremely quickly, what helps my work.

I would be grateful if you could find a volunteer job for me in an African country. Perhaps South Africa or Congo. I really believe that I can help to improve children's lives of this continent. I am taking a year off of my current job and studies, therefore I have an entire year available to live and work abroad. I would appreciate if you could find a job that lasts no more than a year.

Please, write me back at the earliest convenience. I look forward to receiving your response.

Yours faithfully,

Vitor Machado

[wannabe]

It looks really good in terms of vocabulary and task achievement, however, I feel that the weakest point of the letter would be cohesion or usage of appropriate linking words. As I can see, most of the sentences start with "I", which sounds a bit mechanical: I did this, I did that... Though there're some linking words which are used correctly, such as moreover and furthermore, I believe the reading flow can be slightly improved by putting transition words at the beginning of "I"-sentences.

I'm not an expert, so correct me if I'm wrong, I'm just another student who strives to improve his writing skill

[Flick]

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Question:
You live in an English speaking country and you want to do some voluntary, unpaid work
in a developing country. Write a letter to a company called Cultural Expeditions,
which organizes such trips.

In your letter:
- Explain why you want to do the voluntary work.
- State what your skills and experience are.
- Indicate where you would like to volunteer and for how long.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to express my interest in working as a volunteer in a third world country. My name is Vitor Machado, and recently I saw an advertisement published by your company, Cultural Expeditions, in a local newspaper informing citizens to send a letter in case of interest.

I truly appreciate working as a volunteer. I spent two years living in Uganda, and I saw poverty, starvation and human suffering with my own eyes. Since then I have been working as a volunteer, helping to alleviate these worrisome problems. I have extensive work experience in the education sector. I worked as a primary school and kindergarten teacher for three years. Moreover, I helped to organize charity events in my hometown to raise money to buy food for homeless people. I am very friendly, and I can establish good rapport with children and adults extremely quickly, which helps my work.

I would be grateful if you could find a volunteer position for me in an African country. Perhaps South Africa or Congo. I really believe that I can help to improve children's lives of this continent. I am taking a year off of my current job and studies, therefore I have an entire year available to live and work abroad. I would appreciate if you could find a job that lasts no more than a year.

Please, write me back at the earliest convenience. I look forward to receiving your response.

Yours faithfully,

Vitor Machado