task -2

[varsha]

Task-2 : Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of high school students having pat time jobs.


In today's world, education and money both are the important things in our life. Without it, one can not stand stable. This essay will analyze the advantages and disadvantages that arise when high school students have part time jobs. Following this look, a reasoned conclusion will be shared.

On the one hand, pupils who really have part time jobs, are benefited too much. First of all, they teach themselves to manage their whole year expenditure. Secondly, by having a job, they can learn many things such as behavior and attitude in all types of circumstances and situations. For example, one high school boy, residing near university is doing fantastic in his part time job at university book store. Due to his polite behavior, everyone praise him. He is not only performing his duties well but also guides many students about their study materials. These help him in his study indirectly. Thus, it clearly shows that positive effects on student's future. Example like this shows the merits that can derive from the part time jobs.

On the other hand , part time job causes loosening of concentration from the study and make students very tired. For instance, students who learn in school are not able to revise or to teach themselves on the same day due to their part time employments. As they have so many duties to handle at one time such as high work load, customer satisfaction and their services and so on. These all factors impacts on student's mind and also their health. They feel bored mentally as well as tired physically. At the end of the day they are not in a situation to learn or read their assignments. Thus it apparently shows that part time employment has negative effects on student's health.

The above look illustrates that certain jobs and certain students may be more fitted for the part time jobs. It is thus recommended that high school students weigh pros and cons before engaging such a commitment.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

The real IELTS question on this topic would ask you to evaluate both sides of the argument and present your opinion, so I'm going to look at this essay from that perspective rather than the much easier question as presented.

Your raise some simple, but good, points. However, most of these are not developed. Vocabulary appears good, but is it really? For instance, you mention a lot of duties to be carried out in a part-time job, which seems to suggest that these students are doing high-level work. You then say 'At the end of the day ...' Are these students working part-time or full-time? Every day or just at weekends? It's not very clear. If part-time employment affects their health so badly, how are they going to survive full-time work?

The conclusion is not really a conclusion. You haven't said how students can weight the pros and cons. There's no advice. No suggestions. The only job mentioned is in a bookshop.

Overall, the lack of development makes this essay mediocre rather than good.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

Task-2 : Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of high school students having pat time jobs.


In today's world, education and money are both important things in our lives. Without them, one is not stable. This essay will analyze the advantages and disadvantages that arise when high school students have part time jobs. Following this, a reasoned conclusion will be shared.

On the one hand, pupils who really have part time jobs, are benefited too much.(<--Reword to: "On one hand, pupils with part time jobs receive many benefits.") First of all, they teach themselves to manage their whole year expenditure.(<--Reword to: "First of all, they learn about financial responsibility.") Secondly, by having a job, they can learn many things such as behavior and attitude in all types of circumstances and situations. For example, one high school boy is doing fantastic in his part time job at a university book store. Due to his polite behavior, everyone praises him. He is not only performing his duties well but also guides many students on their study materials. These skills help him in his study indirectly. Thus, it clearly shows the positive effects on a student's future. Examples like this show the merits that can derive from having a part time job.

On the other hand, a part time job can be a distraction from study and make students very tired. For instance, students who learn in school are not able to revise or to teach themselves on the same day due to their part time job. As they have so many duties to handle at one time such as high work load, customer satisfaction and so on. These factors impact on the student's mind and also their health. They feel exhausted mentally as well as tired physically. At the end of the day, they are not in a situation to learn or review their assignments. Thus, it shows that part time employment has negative effects on a student's health.

The above illustrates that certain jobs and certain students may be more suited to a part time job. It is thus recommended that high school students weigh the pros and cons before engaging in such a commitment.