In general, people do not have such a close relationship with their neighbours as they did in the past. Why is this so, and what can be done to improve contact between neighbours?
In this age of change, the human society is progressing rapidly in various fronts. Yet, at the same time, many problems have arisen than in earlier year. This issue has drawn a widespread attention. This essay will examine the causes and solutions of this matter.
Chief among the causes of this conundrum is busy lifestyle in the contemporary society. For instance, nowadays, most people consume most of their time on working. In Hong Kong, some persons may spend more than ten hours for their jobs. They do not have a time to stay at their accommodations. This makes it clear that they do not have time or occasion to build up relationship with their neighbors. Another contributing factor is that civilians are lack of empathy. Comparing it to the past, city dwellers become less considerate to others. They become unwilling to assist others as well as untrusty people. As these show, bustling living style and neglectful another people feelings could be concluded today’s greatest causes of this inferior bond with their neighborhoods.
In order to resolve this issue. I believe that we must first address its root causes. Perhaps the most effective method of doing this would be for the government to encourage its folks to develop a close connection with their neighbors. To illustrate, the executive can promote the benefits of building good relevance with their neighborhoods by advertisements or some campaigns. Another further measure would be to educate children about it at school. The institutions can cultivate their schoolchildren about considerable others emotions. It is obvious from these, government’s promoting and school’s educating can be plausible solutions to this issue.
In conclusion, I believe that this is clearly a problem of such complexity that no excellent solution is likely in the short term. However, I contend that the measures outlined above would constitute a splendid first step.
pls help me - task2- cause and solution-relationship
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rairaichan0115
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David.IELTS.Examiner
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Re: pls help me - task2- cause and solution-relationship
Hello!
Don't take this personally, but whenever I see this question I think 'Oh the first part will be answered quite well and the second part won't'.
In this case, it's sort of true. In the first part, you mention working hours and empathy/consideration. The first argument doesn't quite fit, as in the past people regularly worked from dawn to dusk. The second point - which I agree with - is not explained, i.e. why is there less empathy? (You do mention 'living style' but that is very general.)
Please feel free to skip the next paragraph if you are easily offended ...
In the second part, you fall back on what I personally - and I know many examiners agree with me - consider to be the most horrific of suggestions - 'the government must encourage people'! Let's take a (slightly) extreme example. Mao murdered millions of his own people. Why do you think he was a good person to 'encourage people' to be nice to each other? (Then consider the amount of criticism that Donald Trump - possibly the next US President - is receiving. What makes him so good at encouraging people to be nice to each other? He clearly has a problem with Mexicans, Muslims and women.)
Hello again, if you jumped that paragraph! If the solution is simply to educate people about it in schools, why has this not been done already? You do say that it is an 'obvious' solution. Clearly not.
In the conclusion, you then say that this is a complex problem ... literally a few words after you say there's an obvious solution!!!???
Overall, a totally unconvincing essay.
So, let's get to work on these ideas!
Working hours - Well, it's not really the hours but more likely the fact that people used to work with their neighbours. Now they usually don't - although they often do in the countryside, which dents the argument. This demonstrates the importance of distinguishing between people in different situations.
Why do people care less about those around them? - Perhaps it's because cities are generally impersonal places. In small communities, you might need your neighbours, but in cities you might not need them. Again, this draws a distinction between 2 different situations.
Solutions? - Make everyone live in small rural communities? Extreme. How about funding community events? Each person could have a voucher from the government to use to finance them. How about setting up community centres in neighbourhoods to allow people to organise their own events? How about introducing policies that encourage local businesses, rather than multinationals? How about parents relaxing their grip on their kids and letting them get to know others in the area?
All the best,
David
Don't take this personally, but whenever I see this question I think 'Oh the first part will be answered quite well and the second part won't'.
In this case, it's sort of true. In the first part, you mention working hours and empathy/consideration. The first argument doesn't quite fit, as in the past people regularly worked from dawn to dusk. The second point - which I agree with - is not explained, i.e. why is there less empathy? (You do mention 'living style' but that is very general.)
Please feel free to skip the next paragraph if you are easily offended ...
In the second part, you fall back on what I personally - and I know many examiners agree with me - consider to be the most horrific of suggestions - 'the government must encourage people'! Let's take a (slightly) extreme example. Mao murdered millions of his own people. Why do you think he was a good person to 'encourage people' to be nice to each other? (Then consider the amount of criticism that Donald Trump - possibly the next US President - is receiving. What makes him so good at encouraging people to be nice to each other? He clearly has a problem with Mexicans, Muslims and women.)
Hello again, if you jumped that paragraph! If the solution is simply to educate people about it in schools, why has this not been done already? You do say that it is an 'obvious' solution. Clearly not.
In the conclusion, you then say that this is a complex problem ... literally a few words after you say there's an obvious solution!!!???
Overall, a totally unconvincing essay.
So, let's get to work on these ideas!
Working hours - Well, it's not really the hours but more likely the fact that people used to work with their neighbours. Now they usually don't - although they often do in the countryside, which dents the argument. This demonstrates the importance of distinguishing between people in different situations.
Why do people care less about those around them? - Perhaps it's because cities are generally impersonal places. In small communities, you might need your neighbours, but in cities you might not need them. Again, this draws a distinction between 2 different situations.
Solutions? - Make everyone live in small rural communities? Extreme. How about funding community events? Each person could have a voucher from the government to use to finance them. How about setting up community centres in neighbourhoods to allow people to organise their own events? How about introducing policies that encourage local businesses, rather than multinationals? How about parents relaxing their grip on their kids and letting them get to know others in the area?
All the best,
David