Resend my writing task 1 with added topic. Please evaluate my writing. Thanks

[Jamy]

The chart illustrates the various reasons of adult people who decide to study. In addition, the given pie chart offers information about the cost of each course should be share by several resources.
According to the chart, two groups of adult people who join in study for being interest in subjects and aiming qualifications are highest, 40% of being interest in subject and 30% of gaining qualifications. Otherwise, the number of people who study for chaining their job or meeting is the lowest from 9 % to 12%. Moreover, the percentage of enhancing prospects of promotion in job is as well as the number of enjoying studying is 20%. The last group of people study because they find the assistance of study, 22%.
Besides, as for the survey of the education cost, each course has to dealt with individual as the highest percentage, 405. In contrast, 35% is paid by employers and the remaining (20%) is subsidized by taxpayer.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

CAPITALS are used for emphasis in my assessment, not for shouting!

chaining - training

meeting - meeting new people

The grammar is weak, and words are missing meaning that it takes a lot of concentration to understand the writing, e.g. Moreover, the percentage of PEOPLE TAKING COURSES WITH THE AIM OF enhancing prospects of promotion

The final sentence is particularly unclear. The diagram shows how people THINK the courses SHOULD BE financed, not how they actually are.

Overall, the grammatical problems in particular make this report difficult to judge sympathetically. I recommend that you practice writing simple sentence structures and make sure that the sentences contain the relevant information.

All the best,
David

[Jamy]

Dear Mr David,
I would like to thank your comments.
Best regards,
Tam