Please evaluate my ielts writing task 1(anyone is welcomed)

[ahmetkalievjr]

The bar graph illustrates the amount of time spent on telephone calls over 8 year period, between 1995 and 2002.
Unit of time is billion of minutes. The most significant fact to emerge from the graph is that local-fixed line
type of call is accounted for the most used throughout the timeframe.
In 1995, local-fixed line call stood at 72 billions of minutes, afterwards gradually increased in the next 4 years
and peaked at 90 billions, in 1999. Following 3 years experienced slight decline and local-fixed line calls finished
at the same point as in the 1995. In contrast, national and international-fixed line category of calls started
at 38 billions and steadily rose over the whole period. As an outcome it finished at the just above 60 billions minutes,
in 2002.
Moving to the detailed analysis of remained category, the mobile phone calls starting at 3 billions, slowly rose to the
just below of 10 billions, in 1998. Following 4 years witnessed dramatical jump to the 45 billions minutes of time spent on telephone calls in 2002. [updated]

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[ahmetkalievjr]

people help
someone please assess my writing task 1

[Flick]

The bar graph illustrates the amount of time spent on telephone calls over an 8 year period, between 1995 and 2002.

The most significant fact to emerge from the graph is that local - fixed line calls accounted for the greatest amount of time throughout the 8 year period.

In 1995, local - fixed line calls stood at 72 billion minutes. This figure gradually increased over the next 4 years to peak at 90 billion in 1999. The following 3 years experienced a slight decline and local - fixed line calls finished at the same point as in the 1995.

In contrast, the national and international - fixed line category of calls started at 38 billion minutes, and steadily rose over the whole period. As an outcome it finished at just above 60 billion minutes in 2002.

Moving to the detailed analysis of remained category, mobile phone calls stared at 3 billion minutes in 1995, and slowly rose to just below 10 billion minutes in 1998. The following 4 years witnessed a significant jump to 45 billion minutes of time spent on telephone calls in 2002.