I will be quite thankful for any comments regarding my T2 corrections.

[Shokir]

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?
Humankind subconsciously refuses most alternatives of the things which he or she get used to do in her or his everyday life. Majority of today’s respondents would not choose another option differing from the way they would accomplish successfully. However being stubborn can cause many problems than convenience. In this essay I will highlight some issues occurring owing to resistance of people and propose some solutions for this.
The first obnoxious problem that living without alteration may cause is obsolescence of the life. Day by day we are witnessing with new technologies. As because of living today’s and tomorrow’s life as yesterday’s some elder citizens will not be able to catch up. Quite bright example of this could be grandparents who do not know even how to call. However not all senior citizens are technophobes. Those who do not fear to change their style of life catch on it even better than minors. The way forward for youngsters could be to encourage their grandparents to use modern informational technologies.
Another troublesome case that could be born by not changing the way of life would be feeling kind of sense of isolation from modern society. Obviously in that case simply changing the image of the person may bring affirmative profound changes towards the approach of dwelling. Like for instance if people keep wearing white shirt with black trousers and spectacles, this will hardly allow him or her to interact with people, who prefer flamboyant clothes. This problem could be tackled by considering better ways of living.
In sum, new things always come with new advantages. Obsolescence of life or losing the chance of advanced living conditions can be overcome by making audacious decisions to change lives.

[FastTrackIELTS]

Hi Shokir,

I hope you are well. I have provided some feedback to your assignment below.

Task Management
Throughout the essay you make great points about the problems that can occur as a result of people resisting change however at times your point strayed away from the question being asked. You have suggested some great examples of people making changes but spend very little time offering a solution. You may find it useful to highlight the key words in the question before you begin writing so that you can properly plan the points you wish to make. You make an excellent point that people not wanting to socialise with those who dress flamboyantly. As a solution you have suggested 'a better standard of living', however you have not addressed what this means. Be sure you have answered all areas of the question.

Coherence and Cohesion
Your points are well structured and clearly move from one point to another. If writing this assignment again, you might find it easier to break this essay down into this formula: Introduction, Problem, Solution, Problem, Solution, Summary. You do address these points well when discussing technology however you may be able to acquire better grades by expanding on this point. In order to make your point, be clearer in the examples you present. The example where you discuss flamboyant clothing is a great example of this.

Lexical Range
You use a great range of words in your essays however some of your points are lost due to your choice of words. While it is impressive to use a complex words such as 'audacious', it will not improve your band score if the meaning of your sentence is lost. Take a look at this sentence: 'The first obnoxious problem that living without alteration may cause is obsolescence of the life.' This is a very complex sentence and it is not clear what idea you are communicating. While you do gain marks for using a wide range of words in your essay, your number one priority should be to write clear sentences that express the point you are making. In your writing there should be a balance of mixed and complex sentences.

Grammatical Range
Please see the section below which highlights any changes to your grammar. Leave time at the end of your assignment to read what is written and to identify errors.

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?
Humankind subconsciously refuses most alternatives to the things which he or she gets used to in her or his everyday life. The majority of today’s respondents would not choose another option differing from the way they would accomplish successfully. However, being stubborn can cause more problems than just convenience. In this essay I will highlight some issues occurring owing to resistance of people people and propose some solutions for this.
The first obnoxious problem that living without alteration may cause is obsolescence of the life. Day by day, we witness new technologies. As because of living today’s and tomorrow’s life as yesterday’s some elder citizens will not be able to catch up. Quite bright example of this could be grandparents who do not know even how to make a telephone call. However, not all senior citizens are technophobes. Those who do not fear changing their style of life catch on even better than minors. The way forward for youngsters could be to encourage their grandparents to use modern informational technologies.
Another troublesome case that could be born by not changing the way of life would be feeling a sense of isolation from modern society. Obviously in that case simply changing the image of the person may bring affirmative profound changes towards the approach of dwelling. For instance, if people keep wearing white shirts with black trousers and spectacles then this will not allow him or her to interact with people who prefer flamboyant clothes. This problem could be tackled by considering better ways of living.
In sum, with new things there are always new advantages. Obsolescence of life or losing the chance of advanced living conditions can be overcome by making audacious decisions to change lives.

Thanks for the great essay Shokir. I hope this is useful for you. If you require any further assistance with this, or any of the sections of the IELTS exam, you can reach me here on the forum or on my website: http://www.passmyielts.com

Good luck

Jordan

[Shokir]

Thank you for your response. Can i ask you to be more specific about underlined words. I cannot clearly see what's wrong with them