One more T1 that needs your review

[Shokir]

The bar chart illustrates data about how 3 sectors like agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial contributed to the UK economy in the 20th century. It can be seen from the graph that, the highest portion ever was made by the sector of agriculture.
Contribution of the agriculture was 50% in 1900. Then it demonstrated a decrease over the period falling from just over 50% to 10% and about 2% in the years of 1975 and 2000 respectively.
Manufacturing sector’s contribution also followed a decline in the similar way to agriculture. This sector contributed approximately 45% of the economy at the beginning of the period whereas, at the end its coverage declined to roughly 15%
Quite reverse characteristic was shown by business and financial sector. Its contribution increased over the period starting from just under 5% and hitting the rough number of 35% in 2000. However in 1950 and 1975 this sector covered 10% and 20% of the UK economy subsequently.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Basically, you're just missing a summary of the key trends.

cover/coverage/demonstrate are incorrect.

Overall, good vocabulary and grammar, despite some mistakes.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

The bar chart illustrates data on how 3 sectors, agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial contributed to the UK economy from 1900 to 2000. It can be seen from the graph that the highest contribution ever was made by the agriculture sector.

Contribution of the agriculture was 50% in 1900.(<--Reword to: "In 1900, 50% of the UK economy was made up of agriculture.") Then it demonstrated a decrease over the period falling from just over 50% to 10% and about 2% in the years of 1975 and 2000 respectively.(<--Reword to: "This fell to 10% in 1975 and just 2% by 2000.")

The manufacturing sector’s contribution also followed a decline similar to agriculture. This sector contributed approximately 45% of the economy at the beginning of the period whereas, by 2000, its contribution was roughly 15%.

However, the opposite trend was shown by the business and financial sector. Its contribution increased over the period starting from just under 5% in 1900 and hitting about 35% in 2000. However, in 1950 and 1975 this sector covered 10% and 20% of the UK economy respectively.