kindly review my gt task 2

[DJvj]

Topic:-

Age discrimination occurs when a decision is made on the basis of a person’s age. In the workplace, these are most often decisions about being employed in the first place, winning promotions or being unfairly dismissed.

Should discrimination against older workers be made illegal?

***************

In this competive world, it's very important that a person is being judged by his/her actions . Sometimes, age is being considered before making a judgement which creates biassed among the experienced workers. However, there are few people who are opponents of this idea. Below essay will support a viewpoint of doing this practice illegal for the older workers at the workplace.

The main reason is it may set a negative precedence and demotivate the experienced worker. This could lead to have a direct impact on their productivity and hamper the environment of the workplace.For instance,a person who has worked on a priority tasks has been shadowed by a younger person while considering the promotion.

Secondly , Companies may start losing their experienced people . They should rather leverage on their experiences. They should seek their opinions as they are considered to be more responsible. For instance , a company without experienced people may not be able success. Older workers set the directions and be mentor for the juniors by sharing their knowledge.

To conclude, i strongly believe that it would be unfair to have a discrimination based on a age factor. Rather,
the rewards and recognition should be given based purely based on the performance of an individual. This would also help to have an healthy environment and fosters individual.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

I think that your points are good, but you haven't developed them.

Grammar and vocabulary are good, but there just isn't enough detail.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

Topic:-

Age discrimination occurs when a decision is made on the basis of a person’s age. In the workplace, these are most often decisions about being employed in the first place, winning promotions or being unfairly dismissed.

Should discrimination against older workers be made illegal?

***************

In this competive world, it's very important that a person is judged by his or her actions. Sometimes, age is considered before making a judgement which creates bias against experienced workers. However, there are some people who are opponents of this idea. This essay supports the viewpoint that this practice should be illegal.

The main reason is it may set a negative precedence and demotivate the experienced worker. This could have a direct impact on their productivity and hamper the environment of the workplace. For instance, a person who has worked on a priority task has been shadowed by a younger person while considering the promotion.(<--What promotion?)

Secondly, companies may start losing their experienced staff. They should rather leverage on their experiences. They should seek their opinions as they are considered to be more responsible. For instance, a company without experienced people may not be successful. Older workers set the direction and mentor the juniors by sharing their knowledge.

To conclude, I strongly believe that it would be unfair to have a discrimination based on age. Rather, rewards and recognition should be given based purely on the performance of an individual. This would also help to build a healthy environment and foster individual employees.