kindly help me with my task 2.. Thank you so much.. :)

[aphro_dhite]

TASK TWO:
In a recent survey conducted in this country, it was found that up to 20% of twelve year-olds in some schools were showing early signs of nicotine addiction.

In the eighteen to twenty year age bracket the percentage was as high as 70%. A large contributing factor to this high level of addiction is attributed to the uncensored TV advertising of cigarettes.

For this reason all cigarette advertising should be banned.

Discuss.

The prevalence of smoking addiction in the young generations continuously increases. The latest survey done in the different educational institutions, it presents that as early as 12 years old, children presents addiction to nicotine. In addition, there is a high rate of young adults being addicted to smoking and all of these are contributed to the unregulated ads of cigarette. This essay will discuss the reasons why cigarette ads should be prohibited.

To begin with the influence of media especially television to the younger generations shows a notable effect in their lifestyle. The contribution of these ads in the television industry is very significant for it pays a lot compared to other ads. In fact, most of these advertisements are using the most sought actor or model in the industry hence teenagers find it to be appealing and trendy. Notwithstanding this fact, money must be disregarded in this matter because the effects of smoking in the incoming generations are dangerous and can destroy ones future because of addiction. Instead of paying huge amount in television ads, tobacco companies must help in rehab centers for addicted minors.

In lieu of this, every ad must show the disadvantages of smoking like its effect in health, physical appearance and environment, to discourage people especially the younger ones to smoke. Furthermore, the effects of smoking do not just concern the health of the smokers but as well as the people around them. Hence, the government must pursue laws which ban the ads of smoking as well as regulating movies that shows actors who smoke.

In conclusion, the effects of tobacco advertisement in the younger generations results to addiction which can impose a great danger in people’s health. Banning every ad can consequently decrease number of minors who are addicted to cigarettes.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

I think that your basic ideas are good, but the details are often unclear due to poor word choice and/or grammar. For instance, you say money should be disregarded, but then say that tobacco companies should pay for rehab centres. Besides, many people would argue that the cost of looking after people with tobacco related illnesses is a key factor.

Aside from this, your haven't looked at other possibilities. For example, do young people get addicted to smoking ONLY because of ads? This seems unlikely, as ads have been banned in many countries for a long time (e.g. the UK) and young people can still be found smoking.

As indicated above, I'd be more inclined to use simpler vocab to express your ideas more clearly.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

TASK TWO:
In a recent survey conducted in this country, it was found that up to 20% of twelve year-olds in some schools were showing early signs of nicotine addiction.

In the eighteen to twenty year age bracket the percentage was as high as 70%. A large contributing factor to this high level of addiction is attributed to the uncensored TV advertising of cigarettes.

For this reason all cigarette advertising should be banned.

Discuss.

The prevalence of smoking addiction in the young generations continuously increases. The latest survey by various educational institutions has found that children as young as 12 years old are showing early signs of addiction to nicotine. In addition, there is a high rate of young adults becoming addicted to smoking. This is being attributed to the unregulated advertising of cigarettes. This essay will discuss the reasons why cigarette ads should be prohibited.

To begin with, the influence of media, especially television, on the younger generations shows a notable effect on their lifestyle. The contribution of these ads in the television industry is very significant as tobacco companies pay more to advertise than other companies. In fact, most of these advertisements use the most popular actors or models, hence teenagers find smoking to be appealing and trendy. Notwithstanding this fact, money must be disregarded in this matter because the effects of smoking are dangerous and can destroy one's future because of addiction. Instead of paying a huge amount in television ads, tobacco companies should support rehab centers for addicted minors.

In lieu of this, every ad must show the disadvantages of smoking, including the effect on health, physical appearance and the environment, to discourage people from smoking. Furthermore, the effects of smoking do not just concern the health of the smokers, but also the people around them. Hence, the government must pursue laws which ban the ads of smoking as well as regulating movies that shows actors who smoke.

In conclusion, the effects of tobacco advertisements in the younger generations results in addiction, which can pose a great danger to people’s health. Banning every ad can consequently decrease the number of minors who are addicted to cigarettes.