T1: Australia mining employment. Please assess and comment. Thanks much!!

[plin0627]

wt1foc_thous.gif (4.76 KiB) Viewed 1084 times

This graph illustrates the changes of the number of labour force that employed in Australia mining industry from 1900 to 1990. Units are measured in thousand.

At the beginning of the century, more than 60000 people (1900) were recruited in the mining industry. The figure began to drop dramatically during the first 10 years to just 40000 people. During the next 4 decades, a slight decrement was witnessed during the time, with around 10000 lesser than in 1910. However, the sector’s employment increased sharply and peaked at 50000 employees (1950) before it fell again to almost 25000 workers by 1965. From this onwards, the proportion of employees of the industry continued to decline marginally and reached a minimum, with approximately 15000 workers in 1990.

In summary, although there was a fluctuation throughout the time period, it can be seen that the number of employment in Australia mining industry was declined generally.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Overall, a good response. You have covered all the main points and vocabulary and grammar are good.

Remember that 'recruited' means news employees, which is not shown on the diagram.

'Decline' is not normally used in the passive (last line).

All the best,
David

[Flick]

This graph illustrates the changes in the labour force employed in the Australian mining industry from 1900 to 1990. Units are measured in thousands.

At the beginning of the century, more than 60,000 people were employed in the mining industry. The figure began to drop dramatically during the first 10 years to just 40,000 people. From 1910 to 1940, a steady decrease was witnessed, until only 30,000 people were employed. However, the sector’s employment increased sharply and peaked at 50,000 employees in 1950 before falling again to about 25,000 workers by 1965. From this point onwards, the proportion of employees of the industry continued to decline steadily, and reached a minimum of approximately 15,000 workers in 1990.

In summary, although there was a fluctuation throughout the time period, it can be seen that the number of people employed in the Australian mining industry has declined significantly.