We live in a technological age. however, technology cannot solve the worlds problems. therefore some people argue that we need to place less emphasis on technological solutions and more on on other values.
Discuss the statement.
Technology has improved people’s lives in various ways. However the world is still facing key environment, health, and education issues that hinder government's strength. On a hand, some argue that technology cannot solve all our problems. The government should focus more on other values and some refute this. These points will be discussed in this order.
It is believed by some, technology is unable to afford solutions for all our issues. The government, therefore, should not embrace technology as a main tool and emphasis should be placed on other values. Buddies, for example, use natural methods and techniques that are traced back to centuries in history to cure diseases and mental issues. Thus, other ways can be inspired from other nations to solve our problems. Accordingly, it is clean why some people gravitate toward this point of view.
On the other hand, many believe that technology is a revolutionary method that can solve all our generation problems if more emphasis is placed on. Numerous high efficient research and development centres has discovered various optimal solutions to many obstacles. For example, the health department in Amsterdam found a technology to modify the genomes of mosquitos to make them less harmful. Thus, technology can solve world’s problems if it is employed effectively and efficiently. After analysing these facts, it is clean why many support this claim.
Seeking solutions to the world problems through technology is agreed and refuted by many. After analysing both points of view, however, it is clean that technology can solve all the world’s problems. Thus, the argument that suggests to put less emphasis on technology advancement cannot be supported and is expected to never be realised.
Writing Task 2 8+
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
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Re: Writing Task 2 8+
Hello!
The first main paragraph is a little unclear to me. The word 'buddies' is either incorrect or too informal.
However, the second main paragraph introduces a very good example and is clearly written.
You use a wide range of connectives well and the essay has clear organisation.
Vocabulary is good with some high-level items, e.g. modify the genomes.
Grammar is good, both in terms of range of structures and accuracy.
Overall, a good essay, apart from the first main paragraph, which should be rewritten.
All the best,
David
The first main paragraph is a little unclear to me. The word 'buddies' is either incorrect or too informal.
However, the second main paragraph introduces a very good example and is clearly written.
You use a wide range of connectives well and the essay has clear organisation.
Vocabulary is good with some high-level items, e.g. modify the genomes.
Grammar is good, both in terms of range of structures and accuracy.
Overall, a good essay, apart from the first main paragraph, which should be rewritten.
All the best,
David
Re: Writing Task 2 8+
Hello!David.IELTS.Examiner wrote:Hello!
The first main paragraph is a little unclear to me. The word 'buddies' is either incorrect or too informal.
However, the second main paragraph introduces a very good example and is clearly written.
You use a wide range of connectives well and the essay has clear organisation.
Vocabulary is good with some high-level items, e.g. modify the genomes.
Grammar is good, both in terms of range of structures and accuracy.
Overall, a good essay, apart from the first main paragraph, which should be rewritten.
All the best,
David
Thank you so much David for reading and evaluating my writing.
The word "buddies" is incorrect i meant to use "buddhists".
does the first main paragraph still should be rewritten?
is it close to band 8 or much less?
Thank you,
Yahya
Re: Writing Task 2 8+
ysaddiq wrote:We live in a technological age. however, technology cannot solve the worlds problems. therefore some people argue that we need to place less emphasis on technological solutions and more on on other values.
Discuss the statement.
Technology has improved people’s lives in various ways. However, the world is still facing key environment, health, and education issues that hinder government strength. On one hand, some argue that technology cannot solve all our problems, so the government should focus more on other values. However, some people refute this. These points will be discussed in this order.
It is believed by some that technology is unable to afford solutions for all our issues. The government, therefore, should not embrace technology as a main tool. Instead, emphasis should be placed on other values. Buddhists, for example, use natural methods and techniques that are traced back centuries to cure diseases and mental issues. Thus, other ways can be inspired from other nations to solve our problems. Accordingly, it is clear why some people gravitate toward this point of view.
On the other hand, many believe that technology is a revolutionary method that can solve all our generation's problems if more emphasis is placed on technology. Numerous high efficient research and development centres have discovered various optimal solutions to many obstacles. For example, the health department in Amsterdam created a technology to modify the genomes of mosquitoes to make them less harmful. Thus, technology can solve the world’s problems if it is employed effectively and efficiently. After analysing these facts, it is obvious why many support this claim.
Seeking solutions to the world's problems through technology is agreed on and refuted by many. After analysing both points of view, however, it is clear that technology can solve all the world’s problems. Thus, the argument that suggests putting less emphasis on technological advancement cannot be supported and is expected to never be realised.
Re: Writing Task 2 8+
Thank you Flick for the correction.