Please evaluate my AT task 2. Thanks

[tinalongmao]

The mass media, including television, radio and newspaper, have great influence in shaping people's ideas.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answers.

Mass media have been a channel foe people to access to the world, therefore, its saying would influence people's acknowledge and understanding of the world more or less.

Media is like people's eyes to capture scenes around the world and what media report is like a filter in front of the shot. There is only one fact existing while the sayings could be various from people to people basing on different characteristics as well as positions that people working as editors are on their countries' behalf.

Reports edited by different people having different interests could impose bisa concepts on audience, because for the audience, it's impossible to experience every event happening around the world, they only have information served by media, thus, things that media present to people cover a liar of color which the media tend to have people to see.

Media are trying to form people's mind by age groups. Aiming at children, they show vivid pictures of food, applying popular cartoon characters, indicating children that all delicious food are supposed to be like on the advertising. For women, they know how to male the clothes fancy and attractive. They put on the dressing show telling women what is the real beauty. Meanwhile, media also know well about men. They show images depicting gorgeous muscles, leading them to think that the big and strong blocks are regarded as charming and awesome. So children take it as a modal to pursue the superb food, women and men follow the idea to pursue the true aattraction. What the media show, therefore, has become the mainstream on the society which is highly valued by the public.

Media is a tool for people to understand elements both in materially and psychologically. Media give people views of the world and change people's views of the world at the same time.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

This is a VERY easy question, as the answer is obviously 'yes'! The main thing to do is to create good development and provide good examples, which you haven't really managed to achieve.

You have fallen into the trap of assuming that all media affects all people all of the time. To take a simple example, you claim that all children eat healthily. So why is child obesity generally increasing? I hope you can see how your essay points do not meet the required standard.

One more point. Does ALL media show EXACTLY the same thing? (According to your essay, you seem to think it does.)

All the best,
David

[Belcher]

The mass media, including television, radio and newspaper, have great influence in shaping people's ideas.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answers.

Mass media have been a channel foe people to access to the world, therefore, its saying would influence people's acknowledge and understanding of the world more or less.

Media is like people's eyes to capture scenes around the world and what media report is like a filter in front of the shot. There is only one fact existing while the sayings could be various from people to people basing on different characteristics as well as positions that people working as editors are on their countries' behalf.

Reports edited by different people having different interests could impose bisa concepts on audience, because for the audience, it's impossible to experience every event happening around the world, they only have information served by media, thus, things that media present to people cover a liar of color which the media tend to have people to see word i seek.

Media are trying to form people's mind by age groups. Aiming at children, they show vivid pictures of food, applying popular cartoon characters, indicating children that all delicious food are supposed to be like on the advertising. For women, they know how to male the clothes fancy and attractive. They put on the dressing show telling women what is the real beauty. Meanwhile, media also know well about men. They show images depicting gorgeous muscles, leading them to think that the big and strong blocks are regarded as charming and awesome. So children take it as a modal to pursue the superb food, women and men follow the idea to pursue the true aattraction. What the media show, therefore, has become the mainstream on the society which is highly valued by the public.

Media is a tool for people to understand elements both in materially and psychologically. Media give people views of the world and change people's views of the world at the same time.

You did a great work indeed. I totally agree with you.

[Flick]

The mass media, including television, radio and newspaper, have great influence in shaping people's ideas.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answers.

Mass media have been a channel for people to access to the world. Therefore, it absolutely influences people's knowledge and understanding of the world.

Media acts like people's eyes to capture scenes around the world, and what the media reports is like a filter in front of the shot. There is only one fact existing while the sayings could be various from people to people basing on different characteristics as well as positions that people working as editors are on their countries' behalf.(<--I don't understand this sentence.)

Reports edited by different people with different interests could impose biased concepts on the audience, because for the audience, it's impossible to experience every event happening around the world, they only have information provided by the media. Thus, things that the media present to people cover a liar of color which the media tend to have people to see.(<--What is 'liar of color'? I don't understand this sentence.)

The media is trying to form people's mind by age group. Aiming at children, they show vivid pictures of food, using popular cartoon characters, indicating to children that all delicious food are supposed to be like that being advertised. For women, they try to make clothes look fancy and attractive. They put on fashion shows, telling women what is real beauty. Meanwhile, the media also targets men. They show images depicting gorgeous muscles, leading them to think that big and strong is regarded as charming and awesome. So children take it as a modal to pursue superb food, and women and men attempt to become truly attractive. What the media show, therefore, has become the mainstream on the society which is highly valued by the public.

The media is a tool for people to understand elements both materially and psychologically. The media give people views of the world and change people's views of the world at the same time.

[tinalongmao]

Very thanks for your correction!
And I'm gonna explain some of the confusion...

The first one you mentioned, I meant to say...

There is only one fact. But since people have different ideas and the situations they are in are also various. So, saying(to the same fact) is gonna be different.

The second one,
I meant to say "layer of colour"...
Sorry for that typo....

Thanks again!

通过我的 HM 2A 上的 Tapatalk发言

[tinalongmao]

The mass media, including television, radio and newspaper, have great influence in shaping people's ideas.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answers.

Mass media have been a channel for people to access to the world. Therefore, it absolutely influences people's knowledge and understanding of the world.

Media acts like people's eyes to capture scenes around the world, and what the media reports is like a filter in front of the shot. There is only one fact existing while the sayings could be various from people to people basing on different characteristics as well as positions that people working as editors are on their countries' behalf.(<--I don't understand this sentence.)

Reports edited by different people with different interests could impose biased concepts on the audience, because for the audience, it's impossible to experience every event happening around the world, they only have information provided by the media. Thus, things that the media present to people cover a liar of color which the media tend to have people to see.(<--What is 'liar of color'? I don't understand this sentence.)

The media is trying to form people's mind by age group. Aiming at children, they show vivid pictures of food, using popular cartoon characters, indicating to children that all delicious food are supposed to be like that being advertised. For women, they try to make clothes look fancy and attractive. They put on fashion shows, telling women what is real beauty. Meanwhile, the media also targets men. They show images depicting gorgeous muscles, leading them to think that big and strong is regarded as charming and awesome. So children take it as a modal to pursue superb food, and women and men attempt to become truly attractive. What the media show, therefore, has become the mainstream on the society which is highly valued by the public.

The media is a tool for people to understand elements both materially and psychologically. The media give people views of the world and change people's views of the world at the same time.

Very thanks for your correction!
And I'm gonna explain some of the confusion...

The first one you mentioned, I meant to say...

There is only one fact. But since people have different ideas and the situations they are in are also various. So, saying(to the same fact) is gonna be different.

The second one,
I meant to say "layer of colour"...
Sorry for that typo....

Thanks again!

通过我的 HM 2A 上的 Tapatalk发言


通过我的 HM 2A 上的 Tapatalk发言