Please assess my writing task 1.

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fasah
Posts: 20
Joined: Sun Nov 08, 2015 9:13 pm

Please assess my writing task 1.

Post by fasah »

The graph below shows unusual water usage (in millions of cubic metres) by industries in some countries.

Answer:
The given bar chart demonstrates the consumption of water by several industries in some of the countries of the world. The water given to them is in the form of ground water and public supply and the usage is expressed in millions of cubic metres.
It can be seen clearly that the major amount of water from both resources in total is utilised by chemical industry accounting to 670 millions of cubic metres.Nearly, half of the amount is used by edible items and metal businesses, in comparison to it.Furthermore, textile and fuel factories are with least water requirements up to 90 and 80 millions of cubic metres respectively.
Differentiating on the basis of water resources, ground water is used primarily by chemical,metal and paper factories,with consumption up to 430, 240 and 190 millions.Food/ drinks and machinery areas chiefly utilise water from community supply,80 and 90 millions more in relation to the water used by them from ground.To add it, paper,fuel and textile sectors have very minimal usage from public supply,constituting only 20 and 10 millions of their total expenditure.
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David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Please assess my writing task 1.

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

You have listed the data and not made any comparisons. There is also no overview of the data, an essential feature of a good T1. Grammar and vocabulary are reasonably good.

All the best,
David
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