Essay on Sports.... please give your views

[hemantsharma90]

In some countries people of all ages place extra emphasis on sports and exercising. Do you think it is a positive development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your own experience.
Many countries are promoting sports and exercises and asking people to dedicate part of their free time to any form of exercise. In my views, I believe that such initiatives can help us in many ways. The same is described below.

On one side, sports and exercise consume plenty of time and sometimes it is difficult to cope with it. Since everyone is involved in some kind of jobs. Furthermore, it may cost some money to join clubs which offer a wide range of sports. Moreover, these activities require physical strength to play effectively with other teams and everyone is not strong enough for those. This may further de-motivate individuals and they may decide not to take part in any challenging work.

On the other side, there are many benefits of participating in sports and exercises. Firstly, nowadays, due to sedentary jobs and lack of physical activities, people are suffering from obesity but they can overcome this problem by engaging themselves in a regime of an active lifestyle. Secondly, students can improve their interpersonal skills as while playing they have to interact with their peer groups and thus they can learn new things and discuss their problems with them. Another benefit is that, while competing with other teams they can learn how to handle tough situations. These skills will be useful as they have to face the real competition of lie at later stage. Many sports offers good career opportunities, for example, after the launch of ‘Indian Premium League’, many unknown cricketers who were struggling to survive have become millionaires. Last but not least, sports can be a great remedy for many ailments, as per a recent research, people who participate in some kind of physical activities have high probability of staying away from dangerous diseases such as Heart Attack. Thus, these things play crucial role in our life and can help us in staying healthy and fit.

To conclude, I strongly believe that sport is indispensable part of or life and we cannot ignore it. People should not take their health for granted.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

An easy question, but good for preparation purposes.

If the activities are too tough for people, most people won't do them.

Vocabulary is very good, especially in the second main paragraph. Grammatical range and accuracy is also very good.

Overall, I'd just rewrite that first main paragraph and develop it - we can see that it is much shorter than the second.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

In some countries people of all ages place extra emphasis on sports and exercising. Do you think it is a positive development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your own experience.

Many countries are promoting sports and exercise and asking people to dedicate part of their free time to any form of physical activity. In my view, I believe that such initiatives can help us in many ways. The same is described below.

On one hand, sports and exercise consume plenty of time and sometimes it is difficult to cope with it.(<--Cope with what? The amount of time? The activity itself?) Since everyone is involved in some kind of jobs.(<--Unemployed people? Children? Elderly people?) Furthermore, it may cost some money to join clubs which offer a wide range of sports. Moreover, these activities require physical strength to play effectively, and not everyone is strong enough for that. This may further demotivate individuals and they may decide not to take part in any challenging exercise.

On the other hand, there are many benefits of participating in sports and exercise. Firstly, nowadays, due to sedentary jobs and lack of physical activity, many people are suffering from obesity. However, they can overcome this problem by engaging in an active lifestyle. Secondly, students can improve their interpersonal skills as they have to interact with their peer group during sports, and thus they can learn new things and discuss their problems. Another benefit is that, while competing with other teams they can learn how to handle tough situations. These skills will be useful as they face the real challenge of life at a later stage. Many sports offers good career opportunities. For example, after the launch of ‘Indian Premium League’, many unknown cricketers who were struggling to survive have become millionaires. Last but not least, sports can be a great remedy for many ailments. As per recent research, people who participate in some kind of physical activity have a low probability of experiencing dangerous conditions such as a heart attack. Thus, sports and exerciese play a crucial role in our life and can help us in staying healthy and fit.

To conclude, I strongly believe that sport is an indispensable part of or life and we cannot ignore it. People should not take their health for granted.

[hemantsharma90]

Thank you all for validation.