Please assess my writing Task 1

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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huynguyen
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Please assess my writing Task 1

Post by huynguyen »

Image

The tables show data on the revenues from Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 5 countries in Europe in 1999 and 2004.

Overall, the sales of coffee and bananas increased over the period of 5 years in all countries selected, except for Sweden and Denmark, which had a decline in Bananas’ sales in 2004.

Switzerland was the country that had the highest revenue from coffee’s sales in 1999, at €3 million, tripling Belgium’s figure in the same year, which was €1 million. By contrast, Sweden had the lowest sales of coffee in 1999, at €0.8 million, while the figures for the UK and Belgium were €1.5 million and €1.8 million, respectively. In 2004, the UK surpassed Switzerland as the most profitable country in the sale of coffee, at €20 million, while Switzerland only doubled its sales, at €6 million. Meanwhile, Sweden and Denmark had a slight increase €0.2 million before reaching their revenues at €2 million and 1€million, respectively. Also, Sweden continued having the lowest sales while the figure for Belgium in 2004 was €1.7 million.

In terms of bananas’ sales, Sweden and Denmark experienced a decrease of nearly €1 million over the 5 years period, from €1.8 million and €2 million to €1 million and €0.9 million, respectively, which made Denmark became the least profitable country in 2004. By contrast, Belgium saw a dramatic rise in its sales, from €0.6 million in 1999 to €4 million in 2004 while Switzerland had the highest profits in both years, which were €15 million and 47 million. The figures for the UK was €1 million in 199 and up by €5.5 million in 2004.
David.IELTS.Examiner
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Re: Please assess my writing Task 1

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

This is generally a very good report, in all aspects. Just some minor errors, such as using 'profits' instead of 'sales'. Key data is presented and compared. Grammar is very good and vocabulary is used well and is clear. Organisation is logical and you have included key points in the summary.

Well done!
David
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Flick
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Re: Please assess my writing Task 1

Post by Flick »

huynguyen wrote:Image

The tables show data on the revenues from Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 5 countries in Europe in 1999 and 2004.

Overall, the sales of coffee and bananas increased over the period of 5 years in all countries surveyed, except for Sweden and Denmark, which had a decline in banana sales in 2004.

Switzerland had the highest revenue from coffee’s sales in 1999, at €3 million, tripling Belgium’s figure of €1 million in the same year. By contrast, Sweden had the lowest sales of coffee in 1999, at €0.8 million, while the figures for the UK and Belgium were €1.5 million and €1.8 million, respectively. In 2004, the UK surpassed Switzerland as the most profitable country in the sale of coffee at €20 million, while Switzerland only doubled its sales to €6 million. Meanwhile, Sweden and Denmark had a slight increase of €0.2 million before reaching a revenue of €2 million and 1€million, respectively. Also, Sweden continued having the lowest sales while the figure for Belgium in 2004 was €1.7 million.

In terms of banana sales, Sweden and Denmark experienced a decrease of nearly €1 million over the 5 year period, from €1.8 million and €2 million to €1 million and €0.9 million, respectively, which made Denmark the least profitable country in 2004 in terms of banana sales. By contrast, Belgium saw a dramatic rise in its sales, from €0.6 million in 1999 to €4 million in 2004, while Switzerland had the highest profits in both years, 15 million and €47 million. The figures for the UK were €1 million in 1999, and €5.5 million in 2004.
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