Please evaluate my Writing Task 1 GT

[schedup]

You took your family to a nearby restaurant. You were disappointed with the meal and wish to complain to the manager.
Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant. In the letter:

» explain why you were at the restaurant
» describe the problems
» write about the action you want the manager to take
Write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write your own address.
Begin your letter as- Dear Sir or Madam,

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am Sonam, one of the routine diner in your café. Today, I am writing to complain about the dishes served during our recent visit on last weekend.

I took my family to your restaurant as we were driving back from our long day trip. Your fries are one of the favourites of my children. Accordingly, we ordered French Fries along with noodles and other dishes. However, we were served with uncooked fries. They were also salted too much.

We inquired the waitress, but to our astonishment, she informed that the chef is out. She also told us that it was a peak hours and thus having tough time to cater to the orders. However, it was already at the ebb hours. In addition, it is their responsibilities to ensure that everything are served as in the menu.

Therefore, I want you to take an appropriate action to create an enjoyable environment, and also to stick on the menu dishes.

Yours Sincerely,

Sonam

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Change 'routine diner' to 'regular diners'

Stick on the menu dishes???

'Dear Sir/Madam' letters should end with 'Yours Faithfully'

The action you suggest is too general, so I would not consider the question fully answered.

Vocabulary and grammar are reasonable, but a little limited in range.

Overall, certainly not a bad letter, but easily improved into a good one.

All the best,
David

[schedup]

Dear Mr. David,
Thank you for the review and recommendation on my GT writing Task 1. I will incorporate in my next submission for your further comments.

Thanking you very much.

Regards,

Sonam

[Flick]

You took your family to a nearby restaurant. You were disappointed with the meal and wish to complain to the manager.
Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant. In the letter:

» explain why you were at the restaurant
» describe the problems
» write about the action you want the manager to take
Write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write your own address.
Begin your letter as- Dear Sir or Madam,

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am Sonam, a regular diner in your café. Today, I am writing to complain about the dishes served during our recent visit last weekend.

I took my family to your restaurant as we were driving back from a long day trip. Your fries are one of the favourites of my children. Accordingly, we ordered French Fries along with noodles and other dishes. However, we were served uncooked fries. They were also salted too much.

We talked to the waitress, but to our astonishment, she informed us that the chef was out. She also told us that it was during peak hours and thus they were having a tough time meeting all the orders. However, it was already quieting down and the restaurant was not busy. In addition, it is their responsibility to ensure that everything in the menu is available to be served.

Therefore, I would like you to take an appropriate action to create an enjoyable environment, and also update the menu.

Yours Faithfully,

Sonam