task 1 letter writing.. kindly evaluate:)

[RAGI]

Question:
You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city.The weather was very unusual for the time of the year and the heating/cooling system in the hotel was inadequate .
Write a letter to the manager of the hotel . In your letter
- give details of what was wrong
-explain what you had to do to overcome the problem that time
-say what action you would like the manager to take.

Answer:

Dear sir/madam,

I am writing to you to express my dissatisfaction towards the stay at your hotel in Delhi last week.

As we all know, Delhi is experiencing tremendously cold weather right now. I was staying along with my family in room number 202; my bill number is 1155. Unfortunately, the heating equipment of the room abruptly ceased working. Despite complaining repeatedly to your staff there was no response from the management.

Consequently, I had to rent out a small heater from a nearby shop, which cost me around 1500 rupees for three days. Although the heater was repaired on the third day that was unacceptable as it took so long,

I would like you to take strict disciplinary actions against the involves members of the staff. Additionally, I expect a full refund of the amount I paid for renting out the heater as it was inadequacy from your management.

Expecting a prompt action.

Yours faithfully,

xyz

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Capital letters for Sir and Madam.

The letter is clear and you have included all three points, as required. Vocabulary is good. Grammar is also good (past tense!) and there are not many mistakes.

There really is some good phrasing here - Despite complaining repeatedly ..., I expect a full refund ..., tremendously cold weather ...

The organisation is very clear and you have used some very good connectives to link sentences and ideas.

Well done!

David

[Flick]

Question:
You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city.The weather was very unusual for the time of the year and the heating/cooling system in the hotel was inadequate .
Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter
- give details of what was wrong
-explain what you had to do to overcome the problem that time
-say what action you would like the manager to take.

Answer:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to you to express my dissatisfaction with my stay at your hotel in Delhi last week.

As we all know, Delhi is experiencing tremendously cold weather right now. I was staying along with my family in room number 202; my bill number is 1155. Unfortunately, the heating equipment of the room abruptly ceased working. Despite complaining repeatedly to your staff, there was no response from the management.

Consequently, I had to rent a small heater from a nearby shop, which cost me around 1500 rupees for three days. Although the heater was repaired on the third day, that was unacceptable as it took so long.

I would like you to take strict disciplinary actions against the involved members of the staff. Additionally, I expect a full refund of the amount I paid for renting out the heater as it was only necessary due to the inadequacy of your management.

Expecting prompt action.

Yours faithfully,

xyz