GT - Task 1 letter writing - Please evaluate...

[Murali.Arun]

Question :
You are temporarily moving to to the new city for your job. You will be there for three months and you would like to rent some accommadation for your stay. Write to an accommodation rental office. In your letter
* Tell them how long you are staying
* Describe the type of accommodation you would like
* Explain what facilities you will need nearby

Dear Sir or Madam,
I will be moving to Kansas City, US for 3 months deputation for my job.
I am looking for the suitable place to rent for that period.

Ideally, I am looking for the studio suite with King size bed room,
drawing hall and the kitchen with refrigerator and including some basic utensils to cook.
As I will do cooking on my own for lunch and dinner, kitchen facility is important for me,
Since I used to Indian dishes like rice and vegetable curry.
I will be more comfortable for me to continue the same to avoid
digestive and disorder health issues during my stay.

I also like to have the washing machine with dryer in my suite to clean my clothes.
It would be great, if the Indian stores are nearby so that I can get my groceries and
basic stuffs within 2 km distance.

I will, However need a internet WIFI connection as I may work after business hours in my room.
Finally, It would be of great help if the hotel has the shuttle service to pick and drop.

If you have anything you feel may be suitable, then I am be very much interested to hear back from you.

Yours faithfully,
A.Murali.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Overall, this is a good letter. You have included all the points and provided some development. However, near the end of the letter, you do refer to 'the hotel'! Surely you are looking for an apartment?

There is a good range of vocabulary. The range of grammar is a little limited and there are some basic errors (I also like, capital letters).

The letter is organised clearly and there is a good range of connectives.

All the best,
David

[Murali.Arun]

dear David,
Thank you very much for your valuable feedback. Instead of studio suite apartment, I wrongly mentioned as hotel.
I will try to correct the grammar mistakes and capital letters by practice writing more letters...

Thanks and Regards,
Murali.A

[Flick]

Question :
You are temporarily moving to to the new city for your job. You will be there for three months and you would like to rent some accommadation for your stay. Write to an accommodation rental office. In your letter
* Tell them how long you are staying
* Describe the type of accommodation you would like
* Explain what facilities you will need nearby

Dear Sir or Madam,

I will be moving to Kansas City, US for 3 months for my job.
I am looking for a suitable place to rent for that period.

Ideally, I am looking for a studio suite with a king size bedroom, drawing hall(<--I don't know what this is.) and a kitchen with refrigerator and some basic utensils to cook. As I will do cooking on my own for lunch and dinner, the kitchen facility is important to me, since I will be making Indian dishes like rice and vegetable curry. It will be more comfortable for me to continue the same to avoid digestive health issues during my stay.

I would also like to have a washing machine and dryer in my suite to clean my clothes. It would be great if there are Indian stores nearby so that I can get my groceries and basics within 2 km.

I will need an internet WIFI connection as I may work after business hours in my room. Finally, it would be of great help if the hotel has a shuttle service to pick up and drop off customers.

If you have anything you feel may be suitable, then I would be very much interested to hear back from you.

Yours faithfully,
A.Murali.