These days, many people live or work overseas in a different country than they were born in.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and then give your own opinion.
A highly controversial issue today relates to migration. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view and then give my own opinion on the matter.
On one side of the argument there are people who argue that the benefits of moving abroad considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that individuals think that they will earn higher incomes and get extra benefits, which are offered by the government of a particular country. It is also possible to say that family oriented people prefer a healthier environment for bringing up their offspring. One good illustration of this is the education system. Many of the pupils, whose parents decided to move out, have an opportunity to study in world-class universities as well as to visit a plethora of cultural and historical places in order to know more about the past.
On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. It is often argued that in fact foreign people may face cultural shock. People often have this opinion because they believe that there are huge differences amongst countries, especially between western and eastern culturally oriented countries. A second point is that foreigners need time to adapt to the domestic cuisines. A particularly good example here is, in Asian countries, rice is the main part of each meal, compared to European countries, where bread plays the main role.
In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance, however, I feel that migration is justified. This is because individuals ought to seek a better future.
(267 words)
Thank you!
Please assess Task 2 "Live or work overseas"
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
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Re: Please assess Task 2 "Live or work overseas"
Hello!
You've fallen into a big trap in the first main paragraph. You seem to be making points about people moving from (e.g.) Bangladesh to (e.g.) the USA. However, as this is not clearly mentioned, we can also assume from your writing that people are moving from the USA to Bangladesh in order to have a better life. To what extent is that really happening?
The first half of the second main paragraph needs development. The second half of that paragraph indicates a complete lack of knowledge of the modern world. Have you heard of import and export?
In your conclusion, you state that individuals ought to seek a better future. Why not do this in their own countries? Gandhi sought to make India better, not by emigrating to the USA but by stating in India. Many people argue that Syrian refugees should be in Syria, fighting Assad and ISIS, to make that country better, rather than emigrating. I'm not saying you are wrong, just pointing out that you haven't developed the argument clearly.
Overall, a weak essay in terms of arguments and development. The range of grammar and vocabulary is insufficient to create a good, well-argued essay.
All the best,
David
You've fallen into a big trap in the first main paragraph. You seem to be making points about people moving from (e.g.) Bangladesh to (e.g.) the USA. However, as this is not clearly mentioned, we can also assume from your writing that people are moving from the USA to Bangladesh in order to have a better life. To what extent is that really happening?
The first half of the second main paragraph needs development. The second half of that paragraph indicates a complete lack of knowledge of the modern world. Have you heard of import and export?
In your conclusion, you state that individuals ought to seek a better future. Why not do this in their own countries? Gandhi sought to make India better, not by emigrating to the USA but by stating in India. Many people argue that Syrian refugees should be in Syria, fighting Assad and ISIS, to make that country better, rather than emigrating. I'm not saying you are wrong, just pointing out that you haven't developed the argument clearly.
Overall, a weak essay in terms of arguments and development. The range of grammar and vocabulary is insufficient to create a good, well-argued essay.
All the best,
David
Re: Please assess Task 2 "Live or work overseas"
FireShock wrote:These days, many people live or work overseas in a different country than they were born in.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and then give your own opinion.
A highly controversial issue today relates to migration. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view and then give my own opinion on the matter.
On one side of the argument, there are people who believe that the benefits of moving abroad considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that individuals think that they will earn higher incomes and get extra benefits, which are offered by the government of a particular country. It is also possible to say that family-oriented people prefer a healthier environment for raising their offspring. One good illustration of this is the education system. Many of the pupils whose parents decided to immigrate have an opportunity to study in world-class universities as well as to visit a plethora of cultural and historical places in order to learn more about the past.
On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. It is often argued that foreign people may face culture shock. People often have this opinion because they believe that there are huge differences between countries, especially between western and eastern culturally-oriented countries. A second point is that foreigners need time to adapt to the domestic cuisines. A particularly good example here is, in Asian countries, rice is the main part of each meal, compared to European countries, where bread plays the main role.
In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance, however, I feel that migration is justified. This is because individuals ought to seek a better future.
(267 words)
Thank you!