Could you please evaluate my Essay (Gen Task 2)

[danykallery]

Some people believe that the higher a product is priced, the more likely it is that people will want to buy it.

To what extent does price influence potential buyers?

What other factors influence people to buy a product?



Today we have countless manufacturers and numerous products to choose from. Which creates hard competition between the producers. As a customer, there are several features we focus upon before choosing a product. Price is one of the main factors.
In Ancient times, we had very limited selections to choose from becuase of globalization, we have all famous brnads available everywhere. An overhelming majority of people have some miscondenption about brand names. Because of
advertisements, brandings have an important role in the society. Secondaly, price comes in to the picture. It is true that if there is some product priced high, the standard and the qality of raw materials used will be higher. These
facts uphold the grade of the product and chances of durability extend. Every customer seeks profit for the amount they spend. In addition, now brands and price tags are one fo the exhibit elements of social status.
Some of the traditional brands spend huge amounts for adevertisements and in the modern world people are easily notified about advertisements in manifold ways. Such as Newspapers, internet, Telemarketing and via Television
commercial. AS a result, communities easily get attracted to the products and brands are inviting them to spend money on their goods. Last but not the least, there are many celebrities who act as brand ambassidors for products
and convince their fans to use them.
In Brief, we live in a world where advertisements have impacts on the consumers. however, there facts are limited to some extends. In my opinion users will analyse thier needs before choosing a product.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

An interesting question!

I don't think that you have really answered the question. There is nothing in the conclusion about the relative importance of price compared with the other (valid) factors that you have mentioned.

Your ideas need development, rather than just mentioning each and then saying 'it depends on needs', without saying precisely what you mean.

There is a limited range of grammatical structures, but mistakes do not interfere with coherence. Vocabulary is also limited in range (lack of development of points).

All the best,
David

[danykallery]

Thank you very much for your valuable feedback

[Flick]

Some people believe that the higher a product is priced, the more likely it is that people will want to buy it.

To what extent does price influence potential buyers?

What other factors influence people to buy a product?



Nowadays, we have countless manufacturers and numerous products to choose from. This creates hard competition between the companies. As a customer, there are several features we focus upon before choosing a product. Price is one of the main factors. Previously, we had very limited selections to choose from. However, because of globalization, we now have famous brands available everywhere. This has led to an overwhelming majority of people having some misconcenptions about brand names. Because of advertisements, branding has an important role in the society.

Secondly, price comes in to the picture. It is true that if a product is priced high, the standard and the quality of raw materials used should be higher. These facts uphold the grade of the product and chances of durability extend.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) Every customer seeks quality for the amount they spend. In addition, brands and price tags are used as ways to exhibit elements of social status.

Some of the traditional brands spend huge amounts on advertisements, and in the modern world people are easily notified about advertisements in manifold ways such as newspapers, online, and via Television commercials. As a result, communities easily get attracted to the products and brands that are inviting them to spend money on their goods. Last but not the least, there are many celebrities who act as brand ambassadors for products, and convince their fans to use them.

In summary, we live in a world where advertisements impact consumers. However, the impact is limited to some extent. In my opinion, consumers will analyse their needs before choosing a product.