please assess my task 1 thanks

[tinalongmao]

ANSWER
Two pie charts below provided information about expenditures on various households in 1920 and 2000.

Not surprisingly, food was the fundamental and principal element of people’s budget in the earlier year, making up over two thirds of the total, at 71.9% in 1920, far more over than the proportion of flue and light and expenses on entertainment that constituted 6.6% and 7.7% respectively, not to mention items like household goods, clothing and the rest of others, which even less than 5% of the total spending.

In 2000, replacing expenses on food, payment for recreation and other items became the most, accounting for 34.50%, nearly 5 times as much as the number of 4 scores ago. While spending on food shrank to about one third, at 21.80%. Entering 21st century, it seems people’s household consumption tended to be multiple. Except the largest two, the rest other subjects were consisted of almost half of the whole. As expenditures on travelling and communication expanded to 14.30% from 3.30% in the last century, spending on house, clothing, education and medical care also increased by times, just to different extents, though, none of them was over 10%. It showed spending on household goods and flue and light, whereas, almost remained the same level, while both with a marginal decline.

Generally speaking, expenses on different items of households became more even in 2000, comparing with 20th century when food had the absolute priority of people’s consumption.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

This is not such an easy question as there is quite a lot of data, but I think that you could have provided a little more detail on some of the smaller items.

More importantly, the summary is not very good. You should identify key changes too.

Grammar is good, despite some basic errors, although the writing can be quite easily understood.

Overall, certainly not bad, but I think that this could easily be improved to 'good/very good'.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

ANSWER
The two pie charts below provide information about expenditure on various household items in 1920 and 2000.

Not surprisingly, food was the fundamental and principal element of people’s budget in 1920, making up over two thirds of the total, 71.9%, far greater than the proportion spent on flue and lights, or entertainment that constituted 6.6% and 7.7% respectively, not to mention items like household goods, clothing and other items, which totaled less than 5% of expenditure.

In 2000, replacing expenses on food, payment for recreation and other items became the most, accounting for 34.50%, nearly 5 times as much as the number of 4 scores ago.(<--Reword to: "By 2000, spending on food has been surpassed by recreational spending, and other categories have increased as well.") While spending on food shrank to about one third, at 21.80%.(<--Reword to: "While food expenditure has dropped to 21.8%, spending on recreation has increased to 34.2%, compared to 7.7% in 1920.") Entering the 21st century, it seems people’s household consumption changed drastically. Except the largest two categories, the remaining areas made up almost half of total spending. As expenditure on travelling and communication expanded to 14.30% from 3.30% in the last century, spending on house, clothing, education and medical care also increased, although none of them was over 10%. However, spending on household goods and flue and light, remained constant, with only a marginal decline.

Generally speaking, expenses on different household items increased in 2000, compared with 1920, when food had the absolute priority of people’s consumption.