Please kindly review my essay. Best regards Htarni

[Htarni aye]

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Htarni)

The danger of natural disaster and ecological perils has occurred globally, and hence, some people claim that it is important to find a solution to make way for living rather than undertaking preventive measures for climate change. In my opinion, however, this assumption is arguable for several reasons and I believe both measures should be implemented in order to have a sustainable planet.
Admittedly, there are some ground reasons why seeking for a solution in current problems affected by extreme weather conditions is far more important than preventing it. Since the occurrence of natural catastrophic events such as drought, earthquake, volcano eruption and storm are unprecedented, the devastating effect could be minimized if there is possible proper solution to tackle such events based on the previous experience. To cite an example, building earthquake-proof homes in most earthquake-stricken zones can make a significant difference to prevent tragic consequences. In addition, no one can deny that preparedness is the key factor to surviving a disaster. Therefore, it is the duty of environmentalists to promote the public awareness of how to prepare and follow the constructive instructions in case of disastrous condition, thereby limiting the potential danger and saving millions of lives undoubtedly.
Despite the fact that the way of planning the best measures to counteract the danger could be effective, it should not be taken for granted. Apart from this practice, it is imperative to tackle the root cause of the problem as well. It is undeniable that the rate of number of victims due to the detrimental climate effects is escalating. In an attempt to mitigate the untoward climatic situation, human activities such as deforestation and excessive consumption of fossil fuels should be prohibited as much as possible since these factors can be contributable to global warming and depletion of ozone layer which can in turn lead to the climate changes.
All things considered, while careful observation and nationwide implementation of preparedness approaches to oppose such misfortune condition is necessary, the role of mitigating the climate changes should not be underestimated. Therefore, I would recommend that governments, environmentalists, international organizations and public should be involved as a joint collaboration in taking both pragmatic actions so as to save our earth in the long run.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

This is a fantastic question! Love it - gonna use it in class!

In the first main paragraph, you focus on earthquakes. Whilst there may be a connection with global warming, I guarantee it's not one of the key issues, especially from the point of view of environmentalists. This kinda renders the whole paragraph pointless (especially as you do not explain the connection).

In the second main paragraph, you have simply thrown in a bundle of buzzwords with a mixture of points, and the resulting sentences simply don't make much sense.

Conclusion - that first sentence is horrific.

Overall, grammar and vocabulary are not used to create a coherent argument. Points may or may not be valid, but they are certainly virtually incomprehensible.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Htarni)

The danger of natural disaster and ecological perils has occurred globally, and hence, some people claim that it is important to find a solution to make way for living rather than undertaking preventive measures for climate change.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) In my opinion, however, this assumption is arguable for several reasons. I believe both measures(<--What measures?) should be implemented in order to have a sustainable planet.

Admittedly, there are some basic reasons why seeking a solution for the current problems with extreme weather conditions is far more important than preventing it. Since the occurrence of natural catastrophic events such as drought, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and storms are unprecedented, the devastating effect could be minimized if there is an effective solution to tackle such events based on previous experience. For example, building earthquake-proof homes in earthquake-stricken zones can make a significant difference in preventing tragic consequences. In addition, no one can deny that preparedness is the key factor to surviving a disaster. Therefore, it is the duty of environmentalists to promote public awareness of how to prepare and follow instructions in case of a disaster, thereby limiting the potential danger and saving millions of lives.

Despite the fact that the way of planning the best measures to counteract the danger could be effective, it should not be taken for granted.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) Apart from this practice(<--What practice?), it is imperative to tackle the root cause of the problem as well. It is undeniable that the number of victims of detrimental climate effects is escalating. In an attempt to mitigate the untoward climatic situation, human activities such as deforestation and excessive consumption of fossil fuels should be prohibited as much as possible since these factors contribute to global warming and depletion of the ozone layer which can, in turn, lead to the climate changes.

All things considered, while careful observation and worldwide implementation of preparedness approaches to oppose such misfortune condition is necessary, the role of mitigating the climate changes should not be underestimated. Therefore, I would recommend that governments, environmentalists, international organizations and the public should be involved as a joint collaboration in taking both pragmatic actions so as to save our earth in the long run.