While mobile phones have many advantages, a number of problems have also resulted from them or the ways in which they are used.
What are some problems?
What solutions can you suggest for solving these problems?
mobile technology have re-shaped our lives completely. the primary purpose of mobile phones is to save time and provide 27/ connectivity to our friends and family. However, there are many pros and cons of their use and this use has generated many problems. this essay would identify those problems and recommend some solutions to counter it.
though Cell phone, specially smart phone has many benefits but they have intervene our lives so deeply that an invention which is tend to save out time has now become time wasting gadget. for example, nowadays it is easy to install small games on smart phone which is useless in the production environment. these cell phone game have got great attention from children who spend considerable amount of time playing it and neglect their important home work and other physical exertion. these mobile phone when used as gaming platform brings negative damaging effect on eye sight specially in children. this heavy interaction with cell phone has minimize the physical interaction people use to have before. the wide number of problems cell has brought into our lives can be seen.
However, their are may available options to counter this growing tend. firslty, parents should limit their children the access of such games as it has negative impact on their eye sight. social media application is not substitute of physical interaction. people have to change their lifestyle and promote physical interaction. this could accomplish by sparing extra time for their busy daily routine and spend it with friends and family. finally, smart phone was developed for saving time and resources so it should be used only for the said purpose. these solution if adopted will solve the problems cell phone had made.
In conclusion, it is true that mobile have brought many changes in our life and much of these changes are becoming problems. a slight change in our lifestyle can cope with the problems mobile phone have created.
Please evaluate task 2
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prabhakar reddy
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Re: Please evaluate task 2
WhileMOBILE PHONES have many advantages, a number of problems have also resulted from them or the ways in which they are used.
What are some problems?
What solutions can you suggest for solving these problems?
(mobile-learn to use a capital letter at the beginning of any sentence) Mobile technology (have) has re-shaped our lives completely. (the) The primary purpose of mobile phones is to save time and provide (27/) 24/7 connectivity (to) with our friends and family. However, there are many pros and cons of their (use) usage (and this use has generated) resulting into many problems. (this) This essay would identify those problems and recommend some solutions to counter it. (I wonder, why you all write this kind of sentence which has no logic in it, when you not the essay are supposed to discuss this question asked by the examiner. How can you say an abstract thing like ‘ this essay would identify…blah,blah,blah….Why can’t you change it generalize it, like the following: THOUGH THE PROBLEMS ASSOCIATED WITH USAGE OF MOBILE PHONES ARE MANY, THERE ARE WAYS WITH WHICH THEY CAN BE TACKLED.)
(though) Though, Cell phones (Cell phone), (specially) especially, smart (phone) phones have (has) many benefits, (but) ( NOTE: You should not use ‘but’ in the main clause, when you use ‘ though’ in the sub-ordinate clause) they have (intervene) intervened in ( Here the right word, according to your idea, should have been’ entwined’) our lives so deeply that an invention which (is tend) meant to save (out) our time has now become time (wasting) wasteful gadget.( I WONDER,HOW YOU HAVE CONCEIVED THIS RIDICULOUS IDEA AND HAVE CONTRIVED ABSURD WORDING.) (for example) For example, nowadays it is easy to install (small) mini games on smart phone, ( A comma is necessary before sub-ordinate clause) (which is useless in the production environment) This a meaningless sentence What is useless is not specified clearly.). (these) These cell phone (game) games ( the determiner’ these’ takes a plural noun) have got great attention from children, ( A comma is required here) who spend considerable amount of time playing (it) them and neglect their IMPORTANT home work and other physical (exertion) exercises. (these) These mobile (phone) phones, when used as gaming platformS (brings) bring about (negative-remove this word) damaging effect on the eye sight specially (in) AMONG children. (this) This (heavy interaction) EXCESSIVE OBSESSION with CELL PHONE has (minimize) minimized THE (physical) SOCIAL interaction WITH people WHAT THEY USED (use) to have before. (the) THE wide number of problems cell has brought into our lives can be seen.( WHERE CAN BE SEEN?. ANOTHER ILLOGICAL SENTENCE)
However, (their)( Try to learn the difference between’ there and their) there are many available options to counter this growing (tend) TREND (WHAT GROWING TREND? BE SPECIFIC). (firslty,) (Please remember that the first word of every new sentence should have a capital letter.) Firstly, parents should limit THE ACCESS OF their children PLAYING (the access of) such games as it has negative impact on their eye sight. (social) Social media application is not A substitute (of physical interaction) PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES. (WHAT IS THIS PHYSICAL INTERACTION? PHYSICAL MEANS--- RELATING TO THE BODY.TRY TO KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORDS, YOU USE, BEFORE WRITING). (people) People have to change their lifestyle and promote physical (interaction) activities. this could (accomplish) BE ACCOMPLISHED by sparing extra time (for) FROM their busy daily routine and ( spend) BY SPENDING it with friends and family.( Now, all of a sudden, you have switched topic over to elders from children. This is quite irrelevant and digression.) (finally,) Finally, smart phone was developed for saving time and resources so it should be used only for the said purpose. (This sentence is repetitive, meaningless and illogical and irrelevant). (these) This solution if adopted will solve the problems cell phone (had made) has brought in.
In conclusion, it is true that mobile PHONES have brought IN many changes in our life and (much)( Much is for quality and many is for quantity) many of these changes are becoming (problems) problematic. (a) A slight change in our lifestyle can (cope with)( Try to know the meaning of cope with, first) SOLVE the problems mobile (phone) phones have created.
MY COMMENTS
Your syntax is very poor
You have no proper planning and ideas
There is a lot of deviation from the topic.
There is no cohesion and coherence to the question asked.
You require a lot of improvement.
Your essay stands for 5.5 band. No mercy.
CHECKED BY
Prabhakar reddy
Professor of English and IELTS Tutor.
FOR ANY FURTHER CLARIFICATIONS AND DOUBTS, PLEASE CONTACT ME THROUGH E.Mail: preddy2407@gmail.com or on SKYPE ID. prabhakar.reddy2407 or by PHONE +919550724029
What are some problems?
What solutions can you suggest for solving these problems?
(mobile-learn to use a capital letter at the beginning of any sentence) Mobile technology (have) has re-shaped our lives completely. (the) The primary purpose of mobile phones is to save time and provide (27/) 24/7 connectivity (to) with our friends and family. However, there are many pros and cons of their (use) usage (and this use has generated) resulting into many problems. (this) This essay would identify those problems and recommend some solutions to counter it. (I wonder, why you all write this kind of sentence which has no logic in it, when you not the essay are supposed to discuss this question asked by the examiner. How can you say an abstract thing like ‘ this essay would identify…blah,blah,blah….Why can’t you change it generalize it, like the following: THOUGH THE PROBLEMS ASSOCIATED WITH USAGE OF MOBILE PHONES ARE MANY, THERE ARE WAYS WITH WHICH THEY CAN BE TACKLED.)
(though) Though, Cell phones (Cell phone), (specially) especially, smart (phone) phones have (has) many benefits, (but) ( NOTE: You should not use ‘but’ in the main clause, when you use ‘ though’ in the sub-ordinate clause) they have (intervene) intervened in ( Here the right word, according to your idea, should have been’ entwined’) our lives so deeply that an invention which (is tend) meant to save (out) our time has now become time (wasting) wasteful gadget.( I WONDER,HOW YOU HAVE CONCEIVED THIS RIDICULOUS IDEA AND HAVE CONTRIVED ABSURD WORDING.) (for example) For example, nowadays it is easy to install (small) mini games on smart phone, ( A comma is necessary before sub-ordinate clause) (which is useless in the production environment) This a meaningless sentence What is useless is not specified clearly.). (these) These cell phone (game) games ( the determiner’ these’ takes a plural noun) have got great attention from children, ( A comma is required here) who spend considerable amount of time playing (it) them and neglect their IMPORTANT home work and other physical (exertion) exercises. (these) These mobile (phone) phones, when used as gaming platformS (brings) bring about (negative-remove this word) damaging effect on the eye sight specially (in) AMONG children. (this) This (heavy interaction) EXCESSIVE OBSESSION with CELL PHONE has (minimize) minimized THE (physical) SOCIAL interaction WITH people WHAT THEY USED (use) to have before. (the) THE wide number of problems cell has brought into our lives can be seen.( WHERE CAN BE SEEN?. ANOTHER ILLOGICAL SENTENCE)
However, (their)( Try to learn the difference between’ there and their) there are many available options to counter this growing (tend) TREND (WHAT GROWING TREND? BE SPECIFIC). (firslty,) (Please remember that the first word of every new sentence should have a capital letter.) Firstly, parents should limit THE ACCESS OF their children PLAYING (the access of) such games as it has negative impact on their eye sight. (social) Social media application is not A substitute (of physical interaction) PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES. (WHAT IS THIS PHYSICAL INTERACTION? PHYSICAL MEANS--- RELATING TO THE BODY.TRY TO KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORDS, YOU USE, BEFORE WRITING). (people) People have to change their lifestyle and promote physical (interaction) activities. this could (accomplish) BE ACCOMPLISHED by sparing extra time (for) FROM their busy daily routine and ( spend) BY SPENDING it with friends and family.( Now, all of a sudden, you have switched topic over to elders from children. This is quite irrelevant and digression.) (finally,) Finally, smart phone was developed for saving time and resources so it should be used only for the said purpose. (This sentence is repetitive, meaningless and illogical and irrelevant). (these) This solution if adopted will solve the problems cell phone (had made) has brought in.
In conclusion, it is true that mobile PHONES have brought IN many changes in our life and (much)( Much is for quality and many is for quantity) many of these changes are becoming (problems) problematic. (a) A slight change in our lifestyle can (cope with)( Try to know the meaning of cope with, first) SOLVE the problems mobile (phone) phones have created.
MY COMMENTS
Your syntax is very poor
You have no proper planning and ideas
There is a lot of deviation from the topic.
There is no cohesion and coherence to the question asked.
You require a lot of improvement.
Your essay stands for 5.5 band. No mercy.
CHECKED BY
Prabhakar reddy
Professor of English and IELTS Tutor.
FOR ANY FURTHER CLARIFICATIONS AND DOUBTS, PLEASE CONTACT ME THROUGH E.Mail: preddy2407@gmail.com or on SKYPE ID. prabhakar.reddy2407 or by PHONE +919550724029
Re: Please evaluate task 2
thanks Prabhakar reddy for the detail analysis of the Ielts task2
Regards
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