Reposting writing task 2. Please appreciate your feedback and an estimated band score!

[Anamaria10]

Thank you for your time and attention!

The question is: "Students learn more from their school teachers than from other sources such as the internet or television. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?

My response:

Although many people might think children receive much knowledge from their school teachers than from any other technological sources, I do believe students can complement their studies with information found on internet because it is sometimes easier to understand a topic and information could be even more updated than the one presented by the teacher.

Technology is a very useful tool for education, internet and television are both full of varied information that teach their users, especially young ones, about different topics. Furthermore, these sources present the information in fun ways which entertain students and show them learning from a distinct manner than it is taught at schools. Videos, documentaries and even games are, for instance, more interesting ways for students to learn about something else than listening to master classes every day.

Moreover, there is the possibility that the school teachers are not as updated as one would think. Despite the regulations of the schools about training teachers, children and young adults have the perfect ability to use internet to look up information and they can actually find much updated developments for an issue than the teachers know themselves. For example, science advancements are developed at all times and it is faster and easier to learn about them on the internet than to expect a professor to know them all.

To conclude, I totally disagree with the idea that professors are the foremost key to knowledge; technology and other sources could be even more educational than a person, so students should use these sources and take the most advantages out of them.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Basically, this is a good essay. I think that your points are good, but could be better developed with some specific examples or with suggestions on integrating technology into the learning.

Vocabulary is good, despite some mistakes, e.g. updated. The range of grammatical structures is a little limited and there are quite a lot of errors.

All the best,
David

[Anamaria10]

Dear David,

First of all, I want to thank you for your review on my essay, I appreciate your comments and the time you put into this work.

On the other hand, I would please appreciate if you could be more specific about the errors you found, so that I can work on them before my exam, which I will be taking on next week. Also, I don't understand why the word "updated" is wrong, would you please explain it to me?

Thank you so much in advance.

Yours sincerely,
Ana Maria L.